Face Slapping the General - Chapter 1
FSTG Chapter 1 – Interstellar Waste
Title: Face Slapping the General
Translated by Xing
Edits by Ning Ning, Nata & Asaki
Sitting by the lake, Wu Qiao looked at the man-made island in the middle .
In the lake, it seemed as if there was another sky and in the distance, the shadow of clouds wandered in it leisurely . The sun looked like shattered silver rays, swaying on the water’s surface, occasionally being disturbed by the flapping wings of ducks .
There was a sweet fragrance in the air and everything was so beautiful .
Wu Qiao sighed .
In various biographies, when the important figures of the world encounter misfortune, the night falls and the rain is torrential . Wu Qiao had just experienced a sudden and severe blow . Currently, the weather was warm as it is in early summer . It seemed that he wasn’t destined to leave his name in history .
Wu Qiao again remembered the jarring sentence in the rejection letter of the military academy: “Based on the medical examination results, we decided to reject admission . ”
He never thought that there would be a problem with the genetic scan in the medical examination . Previously, his cultural test scores had topped the list . It wasn’t difficult for him to take the tests such as IQ, calmness, reaction speed, and determination tests . The physical strength and other various physical indicators in the examination were all “excellent” . After successfully entering the military academy, he didn’t expect… that he would be tragically eliminated through the genetic scan that had always been regarded as a “useless thing” .
When he saw the numbers on the screen three days ago, Wu Qiao was stunned .
It clearly read:
[Name: Wu Qiao
Probability of becoming a liability to comrades on the battlefield: 99 . 5%
Probability of death: 99 . 5%
If not dead, probability of surrendering to the enemy: 95 . 5%
Chance of becoming a battle hero: 0 . 01%]
The results were based on the statistics and analysis of countless soldiers’ genes from the past, and were always accurate .
The military academy established a genetic database 200 years ago and entered the genetic data of all its students and their performance after graduating and joining the military, and established a laboratory to analyze the relationship between genes and potential . After evolving, this type of genetic scanning and potential determination based on big data was included in the medical examination . However, although this was only one of the processes, only a few people weren’t enrolled because of it . After all, this was a civilized age, and schools won’t easily reject a person and their efforts because of their genes .
But… Wu Qiao’s data was too shocking—he could be called the first waste in history .
Taking into account the frightening probability of being a liability and surrendering to the enemy, in the end, the military academy rejected Wu Qiao after three days of hesitation . The small hope Wu Qiao had before, was completely shattered . With this shattered hope, his dream to become a soldier was burned to ashes .
Wu Qiao’s first 18 years of life can be said to have been smooth sailing . However, on the eve of his 18th birthday, the thing called “life” finally tore off its disguise, revealing its initially hideous features .
Human beings have evolved for over thousands of years, yet the matter of “life” still doesn’t seem to be easy at all . From time to time, it gives people a blow, making them unhappy, but not completely desperate . Every individual is constantly catching up with what they desire, which continuously pushes human beings to evolve .
Wu Qiao was depressed when he suddenly noticed someone approaching . He looked back and found that it was Su Yiqing from the same class . Their desks were adjacent to each other . They have always been very close and it wasn’t an exaggeration to say that they were best friends .
“… Hey,” Wu Qiao took the initiative to say hello, “Did you skip class again?”
“Haha,” Su Yiqing smiled, “Yeah, I pretended to be sick . ”
Wu Qiao shook his head .
Su Yiqing is basically an actor, no, an actor would probably be ashamed compared to him . His acting was top-notch and very convincing . Every time he pretended to be sick to skip class, he worried his classmates into calling him and asking about his condition . Of course, Su Yiqing doesn’t use the same excuse every time . Occasionally, he’ll lie about having something to deal with at home . In these cases, he doesn’t even need to ask for leave by himself . He only needs to tell his classmates, and soon a teacher will come over to Su Yiqing, give him a hug, and ask him to go home immediately, telling him very gently that things at home are far more important than schoolwork .
Su Yiqing sat down next to Wu Qiao, obviously coming here especially for him: “You’re also skipping class . I didn’t expect that . ”
“Yeah . ” Wu Qiao lowered his eyes, “The military academy rejected me . I only applied for that school and left my other options empty…”
Military school enrollment has always started relatively early . After one or two months, professional examinations in other schools begin one after another . There was only one military academy on Wu Qiao’s list of dream schools, so it didn’t make much sense to continue to attend classes .
Su Yiqing sighed, “Then you have to make sure you graduate . ”
“…Yeah . It’s just for today . I’ll attend class tomorrow . ” Wu Qiao said .
Su Yiqing thought for a while and suddenly took a picture of Wu Qiao: “Don’t be discouraged! Genes can’t determine everything!”
“……Oh . ”
“I’ll show you a trick,” Su Yiqing showed a sunny smile, “To help you become the God of War!”
“…What is it?” Although he didn’t believe it, Wu Qiao asked .
“It’s just ‘attacking blindly’!”
“Yup . ” Su Yiqing nodded affirmatively: “When you encounter an opponent, you just attack blindly! Your moves will be unrecognizable and unpredictable, so your opponent will also attack blindly . Then you’ll use your extremely rich experience of blind attacks to beat him!”
Wu Qiao: “…”
“Anyway,” Su Yiqing patted him on the shoulder, “humans are subjective, as long as they are willing to think, there is always a way . Don’t believe in shit data . ”
“Yeah . ” Wu Qiao turned his head to look at Su Yiqing, “Thanks . ”
“It’s fine . ” Su Yiqing stood up, “I’ll go back first then . I already said I was sick and if someone caught me chatting here, it would damage my positive image . ”
“It’s okay, I’m feeling better . ” Wu Qiao’s pupils were very dark, “Don’t worry about me, everything will be fine . ”
It should… get better, right?
After Su Yiqing’s enlightenment, Wu Qiao felt that he was indeed energetic .
At least Su Yiqing was right about one thing: When a road is blocked, one can always take another road . Who said there was no other way to reach the end?
There’s a 0 . 01% probability of becoming a battle hero, isn’t there?
He already reached the Yellow River, and his heart hasn’t died, so why not give it a try?
To become a soldier is Wu Qiao’s long yearned dream . When he was ten, a sentence he saw in an article from a magazine called Interstellar Reader had a profound impact on him . An Imperial general who fought and fought for decades had said, “I won’t conform to being an ordinary person . I refuse to trade my strength for a peaceful life . I will never tremble in front of anyone, and my country needs not to panic in front of any other country . ”
Since then, Wu Qiao has yearned to fight . Even though Wu Qiao had later discovered that the articles in “Interstellar Reader” were all edited and that the general had never made any similar remarks .
Wu Qiao thought for a while, thinking that he should go directly to join the army, starting from the lowest level of work . So slowly, he may get promoted and get the opportunity to interact with warships and mechas .
Wu Qiao felt better .
He still has hope– he hopes to end the war by himself .
When Wu Qiao got home, he felt the atmosphere was very wrong .
“Father, mother, sister . ” Wu Qiao called out in greeting .
“You unlucky egg . ” His sister shook her head .
As soon as Wu Qiao said he wanted to join the army, he heard his parents sigh, “What are you going to do in the future? I told you to write a few more schools, but you just didn’t want to listen . ”
He didn’t write any other schools, meaning that he had nothing to do… There was almost no work requiring labor in this era .
“We thought that since you can’t start a career, it’s okay for you to get married first,” my sister continued, “so we just did a genetic pairing for you . ”
“We thought that since you can’t start a career, it’s best for you to get married first,” his sister continued, “So we did a genetic pairing for you . ”
Genetic pairing refers to finding a suitable partner based on genes . Imperial citizens who were over 18 years old can submit their genetic data and the system will then search the database . The system locks all the people with a match of more than 90 points and sends the information to both parties . Generally speaking, a person will have multiple “suitable objects” . As for choosing who becomes a partner, it is the citizen’s own right, although the system will strongly recommend the person with the highest score . This method has become a common way for imperial citizens to find a partner . However, it is not compulsory . To this day, many people still refuse to submit personal information, but choose people who agree with them, although the results of several large-scale investigations show that the divorce rate of people who have been genetically matched is significantly lower, and the genetic level of offspring is also higher .
“You,” continued his sister, “only matched with one person . ”
“…Oh . ” Wu Qiao wasn’t very interested in this matter .
“I sent a letter to the other party in your name . ”
“Hey!” Wu Qiao didn’t want this at all even if he understood his family’s thoughts . In this era, there were still quite a lot of people who got married early . Just like the ancient people on Earth, they concentrate on raising their children at home and assist their spouses who work outside . The government often says “raising the next generation is the most important career” to appease the men and women . Of course, there were also families where both spouses live on welfare at home after marriage .
“I was anxious, so I sent the letter . ” His sister explained, “Your match was Tan Yan! The youngest five-star general in the empire!”
“…Isn’t there only two five-star generals in the empire? The other is 120 years old . ”
Wu Qiao was indeed surprised by this person found by the system .
Tan Yan’s position has risen like a rocket since he joined the military . Two years ago, he became a five-star general because of his accomplishments . He was only 28 this year compared to today’s average life expectancy of over 180 years old, his life has just begun .
The empire’s two five-star generals were complete opposites in many ways . The one most talked about was Tan Yan’s “0” in his genetic pairing results each year . However, when Xiao En was 18 years old, he had more than 600 matches and more had appeared since . The only thing they had in common was their military talent . Wu Qiao has always looked up to Tan Yan and Xiao En .
Now, all of a sudden, he’ll be involved with Tan Yan through this, which really felt unreal .
“It’s because the other person was this specific person…” His sister continued, “On the other hand, you were only matched with one person by the system… I was afraid he would be snatched away by others if you didn’t hurry… Even if this was unlikely, it’s always good to be wary…”
“Did he see the letter?” Wu Qiao asked .
If he hasn’t seen it, we can just withdraw the letter .
“He already wrote back . ”
“So fast? What did he write?”
“…Read it yourself . ” His sister pulled up the screen, “This is it . ”
Wu Qiao glanced over and found that there were only eight words on it:
[That interstellar waste wood? Don’t joke with me–]
“…” News of being the first waste wood in history had already spread to the military… It seems that in Tan Yan’s eyes, he’s just a person who wanted to get married and have children after being rejected by the military academy .
“This pisses me off!” His sister said angrily, “Your genes have just been put into the library today and he finally has someone who matches with his genes, but he actually spoke to you like this!”
“I’ll send him another letter to change his mind . ”
“No need . ” Wu Qiao looked up at his sister and parents, “There is no need… Because I want to join the army . ”