I Want to Slack Off at the Demon Bureau - Chapter 26 - 0

I see dead people.But hey, it’s the zombie apocalypse, everyone is seeing dead people, including a blind girl. It’s not like I am that special.For a while, I thought I was going to be Cinderella, complete with the cruel stepfamily and the little mice for helpers. But instead of mice, I got demons from hell with a taste for chaos.Then again, there is nothing wrong with a little chaos in the middle of the apocalypse. It’s what makes life worth living.Unfortunately for others, they don’t quite see it that way. You see, I have a gift. One that isn’t exactly mine, but I can use it however I see fit.My gift is granting wishes.I'm a genie without a bottle, but it would be nice if people appreciated me more. All the humans ask for is the same thing… more food here, shelter there, kill these people, torture those. And I do it all, for a small price.I don’t ask for money or food, I can get that on my own. No, I want favors, souls, something that means everything for the other person. And they give it to me. Their momentary desire worth their long term happiness.But by the time they discover that, I’m long gone, already moved on to my next… client.I know I look young, starvation and abuse will do that to a girl. Humans tell me that I shouldn’t be wandering out there alone. Some try to help me… most don’t. But whoever said I was by myself? Just because others couldn’t see them didn’t mean my demons ever left. I still hear their voices in my head, whispering words of encouragement and love. For them, I’d do anything. Kill anyone. Destroy anything.After all, life is just a game, right? Those still alive at the end of the day were the lucky ones. Those who died were not. Everything is just a game of chance, all a human has to do is roll the dice.My only word of advice is to be careful what you wish for… you just might get it.My name is Hattie, welcome to my world.Would you like a cup of tea?

“F**K! I'm dead!”That was the first word I muttered after regaining my memories from Earth.Reincarnating into a world of cultivation should’ve been a blessing. Adventure, immortality, power—what’s not to love?But then I remembered what my family did.My sister just broke off an engagement with a crippled young master—definitely a future protagonist.My mother ripped a Dao Bone from my cousin and gave it to me—guaranteed future revenge arc.And me? I’m already a third-rate villain: bullying weaklings and flaunting my Bai Clan name.Worst part? Despite the Dao Bone, I’m still trash at cultivation.My only hope?The System... which I’ve had for years.“I just never realized... It was in English!”

“You want to steal my genes then leave?” He grabbed her and tried to force her to hand over the child that was born three years ago.

[Longevity + Discipleship + No Female Lead + Lighthearted Humor with No Tragic Moments]When his master picks food, he spins the table there;When his master chants spells, he chats without a care;When his master takes rest, he sings a lively song;When his master lies late, he bangs the pot along;His master lives on long, but his life is rather short;His master lays him down on the hillside, as a sort;His master lifts a cup, but he won’t take a drink;His master shares a tale, but he won’t stop to think;His master holds a feast, but he leaves the table wide;His master calls his soul, but he’s nowhere to abide.Spring returns to the hills, with blooms so bright and fair,Yet master and disciple are parted, one in heaven, one elsewhere.