Sha Po Lang - Chapter 61

Dong Xi transmigrated, but she was neither the female lead nor the villainess, but a tragic side character in a book. Even though she was a proper rich daughter, her mother used her as a substitute for her youngest sister, and sent her to train as a cultivator at the top cultivator sect in the world. Though she was initiated at eight years old and trained for eight years, she was talentless and didn’t have much experience. Eventually, her younger sister was recruited because of her outstanding talent, while Dong Xi was banished after it was revealed that she was just a substitute.

After that, someone caught her, imprisoned her, and tormented her for two years just because she was attractive. Though she was rescued by a senior disciple from the cultivator sect, it turned out that he did it to avenge her younger sister, and tortured her to death. When Dong Xi transmigrated, it was just after she was initiated and began life as a cultivator. She decided that she would do her best, improve her cultivation, and survive! Eating? Sleeping? All that was a waste of time! If there was a cultivator who practiced sword cultivation a thousand times per day, she would do two thousand!

Eight years later, when her younger sister was recruited for her talent, Dong Xi promptly packed her bags and left, leaving the cultivator sect panicking and wondering who had taken her away! Su Cheng, the most powerful demon lord: Who dares harm my beloved wife?! This means war! Dong Xi, still running away: What? Who are you? Su Cheng: Don’t you remember the snake you counted stars with years ago, beloved?

“What the fuck? What is going on? Have I completely lost it?”

As I stare panicky at the dot unable to decide what to do, the white dot disappears and a line of text appears in its place.

[Installing files. 1% done…]

As I watch the text in shock, the percentage gradually increases. […2%...3%...4%...]

I move to the living room in a zombie-like manner, too shocked to think clearly and lie down on the couch.

“Something is wrong with me; I think I finally lost my sanity…”

[…12%...13%...14%...]

Unable to affect the situation in the least, I stare dejectedly at the percentage increase, while my mind starts exploring the possible explanations. In the end, as the percentage hits 90%, I narrow it down to three possibilities.

The first possibility is that I am in fact still unconscious and this is all a product of my mind. I pinch myself and whimper at the pain, as in my nervousness I used almost all my strength.

Nope, the first is out.

The second possibility is that I have completely lost my mind and am suffering from delusions. Hmm, I cannot exclude this, but while possible, I don’t think that this is it. The only thing out of the ordinary is that fucking line of text.

The third possibility …

[Installation successful!]

The text disappears and a new message appears in my eyes…

The third possibility … is that I gained a system. I read the message with my mouth agape at the implications.

[Welcome user, to the Perverted Daddy System!]

Fuck…

— Climax exorcism.

An obscene ability that forces forces anyone stricken by it to climax, regardless of whether they are living or dead.

As a bonus, it also forces evil spirits and monsters to ascend to heaven.

This is a world where evil spirits and monsters are everywhere and being an exorcist is a real job.

Talented boys and girls with bright futures are trained at the “School for Exorcists”.

Furuya Haruhisa is a boy cursed with the ability, climax exorcism, and is also the school dunce.

Using the ability could lead to his own social death…

But then, Haruhisa met her.

Misaki Soya, a girl possessing a similarly cursed pair of eyes — demon eyes.

And so begins the legend of how history’s worst exorcists came to be known as the strongest before anyone realized it. Their first official job results in a grand performance with a monster woman who runs away from boobs.

— Nhoooooo!?

A coquettish voice echoes throughout the neighborhood tonight.

It is undoubtedly evidence of an ascension.

Are those useless exorcists using their obscene abilities?

Is ero going to save the world?

A slightly ecchi exorcism performance!!

[Host, host, I am the System, I can help you conquer the world and the witches with various personalities.]Xi Mu: Hmm... Isn't this an action game? When do we start slashing?[Right... This is an action game, but I suggest that the host also try to seduce the witches along the way, there are generous rewards.]Xi Mu: What rewards?[Of course, the perfect romantic experience!]Xi Mu: No need, I've already played through the romance plotlines. Now I just want to go on a rampage and speedrun the game.][...]