Transmigrated as the Villainess Princess - Chapter 19: The Examiner (7)

Dragon 5th is a powerful lord with incredible martial arts, and yet is wasting away from a fatal disease. The only medicine which can cure his sickness lies in the clutches of his venemous ex-wife, Madam Lovesickness, and is guarded by 7 dangerous killers, fugitives of the martial world. To retrieve the antidote, Dragon 5th hires Liu Changjie, a skilled martial artist who loves drinking and women, but has a mysterious past. All is not what it seems in this wuxia heist story.

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.

When he arrived in this world, many familiar stories had yet to begin: Sleeping Beauty had not yet been born, the magic lamp lay buried at the bottom of a treasure vault, Snow White’s father had just remarried, and the Little Mermaid was still playing in the sea with her sisters. In the heart of the desert, the Land of Oz had not yet welcomed the girl named Dorothy.Then he came—the wizard of miracles and wishes.…Many years later, even illiterate children knew his legend: If you find yourself in the darkest abyss or hold the most fervent desire, you might encounter a handsome boy cloaked in robes in a distant forest or lonely mountains.He is the omnipotent wizard, the all-knowing prophet, the sage revered by kings, and the mentor of legendary heroes. He gave Pinocchio life, granted the Little Mermaid an immortal soul, and heard the pleas of both princesses and beggars.Now, it’s your turn.

Somebody once told a joke.A man ran in place all his life. He worked a job he didn't love for people he couldn't stand. But at the end of the day, the number in his bank account went up.That man got a second chance at life. He woke up in another world, full of adventures and romances and monsters and gods. And floating above his head he saw the number “1”. So what did he say?“Gosh I better make the number go up.”Not today. Not for this old soul. Reborn as a beast of battle meant to live a short life and die screaming, Garek refuses. He puts the madness of skills and levels behind him and sets out to found a little farmstead. He grows crops. Maybe someday he'll get a pig, and have bacon.It's a shame the world won't let him be. It's a shame that the warmongers and level-grinders hate nothing more than a soul at peace.He put down his sword for a plowshare, but when trouble comes calling, he'll pick it up again.