[BL] Accidentally Becoming the Healer of the Deranged Archduke-Chapter 200: Have A Nice Trip Without Me, Your Grace

The silence in the carriage was deafening.

Xion didn’t dare move. Didn’t even dare to breathe too loudly.

He had, in a moment of unforgivable stupidity, confessed to the Archduke that he was fawning over the voice of his alchemist.

He’s going to think I’m some kind of degenerate.

Xion wanted to cry. It wasn’t like he had feelings for Allen.

He was just... weak to those deep, silky voices, especially the ones that belonged to overpowered villains with tragic backstories and excellent bodies.

It was really just a harmless little weakness.

Unfortunately, there was nothing harmless when he admitted it out loud.

Especially when His Grace was staring at him like a man who’d just been personally betrayed by God himself.

"...Brother Allen has a hot voice?" His Grace repeated slowly, tasting each syllable like it was a spoiled delicacy.

His expression remained infuriatingly blank, and yet— somehow— he looked as if Xion had just shoved a rotten fig into his mouth.

Despite the lack of visible emotion, Darius looked utterly disgusted.

I can’t believe I made a fool of myself in front of him! Xion groaned internally, practically curling in on himself with secondhand embarrassment.

[I don’t understand why you are so worried.] The system chimed in his mind, sounding confused at his panicking state.

[You can just say that you like Archduke’s voice even more. Won’t that solve everything?]

Xion had an urge to drag this system out and beat the shit out of it.

He had just said that he liked Allen’s voice and it made Darius look so disgusted. And this genius wanted him to say something even more outrageous?

The Archduke already looked like he was debating whether to feed him to beasts or directly throw him out of the carriage. One more word and he might just do both.

Darius had already leaned back. The furrow in his brow etched deeper than Xion had ever seen.

Sure, Xion had seen the Archduke irritated before. Concerned, even. But even then, the scowl had been mild, more like a shadow than an actual thing.

Now, though? This was a full-blown thundercloud settling on his face.

Xion swallowed hard. His stupid, reckless mouth had really done it this time.

He let out a shaky laugh as he tried to mend the situation. "It’s not that big of a deal, right?"

Darius did not speak, not until Xion felt his heart ready to leap out of his throat.

"Why?" A long finger tapped on the satin red cloth covering the books between them— red, like Xion’s burning cheeks. "Why do you like his voice? Is it a thing the people of your age do?"

And this time it was Xion’s turn to stay silent.

Is he thinking that this is some sort of age addiction?

"It’s nothing serious really," Xion said at last, secretly sighing while relaxing back in his seat.

"Sometimes, people just like things without any reason. Like some like flowers, some prefer food, some go to great lengths to collect art pieces, and I..."

He trailed off before smiling slightly, "I just like it when people speak kindly to me. And if they happen to have a nice voice? That’s just a bonus."

He was a doctor, after all. He had spent so many years listening to people. To their pain, their joy, their secrets whispered in fragile breaths between life and death.

Maybe that was why better tones made him feel nice.

He glanced at Darius, who had fallen into a thoughtful silence.

Xion didn’t say anything else. He figured the storm had passed. That he’d salvaged what little dignity he had left.

Now, forgive Xion but how was he supposed to know that his careless remark over Darius’ age had left the archduke thinking more than he should?

Not to mention that Darius had always felt a gap between his peers. When he heard Xion’s words, the first thing he thought was that he did not understand his healer even more than before.

He stared at Xion, at those eyes that were crystal clear without any blemish. It was obvious that he had no unrealistic feelings for Allen.

Xion had been calling Allen brother all this time, so of course, Xion would not like him in that sense.

But ....

Darius made a mental note to send Allen as a special guard at the third gate of their border as soon as they reached North.

Xion was his, so it was his duty to protect him. Although Allen was a renowned alchemist, he was too boring, and Allen also lacked the kind of strength he had.

How could he possibly entrust Xion to someone like that?

The thought didn’t sit well with him. In fact, it sent him spiraling into dangerous territory, imagining a future where Xion did fall in love with someone else.

He could just kill them all, and Xion would not even know a thing about it. That was his original plan after all. To keep Xion with him, always.

However, it reminded him of Ray’s parents. That was the only couple that had shown him a different perspective.

My father loves my mother dearly, Your Grace. So much that if she cries, I get beaten.

Ray had said so while scoffing at his parents. It was his fault for being so naughty that his mother was on the verge of tears.

And let’s just say, Lord Eldritch didn’t take kindly to anyone upsetting his beloved wife.

That was when Darius admitted that this might be the type of people that his nanny had told him about. The kind that should be protected and indeed he had done his best to shield them.

He had done so out of obligation rather than his will.

It wasn’t until he met Xion, until he was touched by that very softness, that he understood.

Sure, the Eldritch family were a good vessel. But they were not as shiny as Xion. No one was.

Hence, he gave in and asked, "What is love, Xion?"

Xion tilted his head ever so slightly, pondering over the out-of-rhythm question, yet still answered anyway.

"Love... is when someone else matters more than yourself?"

He looked outside, watching the shadows pass by under the cover of darkness.

"It’s when you’d rather hurt than let them suffer. When you’d rather burn than let them freeze. When you’re willing to coax them even when they’re the one at fault."

A quiet smile tugged at his lips. "It’s... kind of like paradise, really."

"Sounds dangerous," Darius said flatly. "And utterly ridiculous."

The archduke did not like the way Xion was smiling so softly after saying those absurd words.

His Grace was well aware of Xion’s tendencies. Of pushing his own life just to save some random stranger like him.

And if this silly creature really gave his heart to someone... Would he not be bullied, used... ruined?

"It is ridiculous, Your Grace," Xion said, and this time he turned to face him. "But it’s real. Or at least, that’s how it is supposed to be. Because only when two people care for each other with all their heart can they be truly happy."

Darius snorted, and in the next moment, without a hint of warning, his fingers pinched Xion’s cheek.

"Ow— hey! That hurt!"

Xion glared at the royal menace sitting so calmly while still pinching his face.

Only when he was satisfied with the bright flush blooming on Xion’s cheek did Darius finally let go.

"Love is poison. It will only kill you." The Archduke said with so much seriousness that Xion who was about to retort pursed his lips.

Poison, huh? Xion mused. Maybe Darius was right.

Because even when he had decided everything, his heart still whispered: stay a little longer, talk some more, hold Darius one last time.

However, even when Xion knew that his grace might agree to his little audacities, he kept those thoughts locked away.

The carriage came to a screeching halt and Xion’s grip on the strap of his bag tightened.

They were at the edge of the mountain. The road from here on was clean unlike the rocky one they had been bearing until now.

But before moving onto the road, they needed to cross the small river, and for that, the speed of the carriages would slow down.

Xion took a deep breath and hung the bag over his shoulders.

"What are you doing?"

Xion stared at Darius, at his elf-like face, at his beautiful eyes, at that pendant that held his trace. Then he smiled. A big bright smile that made his lips stretch almost cartoonishly wide.

"I am leaving you because you pinched me," he said cheerfully. "Goodbye, Your Grace."

Without warning, Xion jumped down from the carriage. His boots hit the ground with a thud, and he didn’t spare a single moment before turning around to wave.

"Have a nice trip without me, Your Grace. I’ll go find my brother!"

With that, Xion ran away and not once did he look back.

Darius merely shook his head, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement. In the entire empire, only Xion dared to show him this kind of attitude.

You left me because I pinched you...

Although it was not a standard behavior of nobility that had been drilled into his blood since his birth. Not even close.

But instead of disapproval, Darius found his hand tracing the edge of the silken cloth draped over the books, his gaze lingering where Xion had disappeared.

With a breathy chuckle, he tapped his fingers against the books, as though tapping Xion’s forehead.

"Naughty kitten," he whispered, the words slipping away into the cold air drifting through the now-open curtains.

He didn’t close them.

If Xion decided to come back, he’d see him instantly.

And if he didn’t... well, Darius would just have to wait six or seven hours, until they stopped to rest the horses.

That would also be the perfect time, he mused, to throw both Noxian and Allen to the rear of the fleet.