[BL] Dear Hushand, I want divorce-Chapter 145: I’ll give you a chance

Ryder leaned against the wall, his eyes trailing over Noah as he lay on the bed, clearly trying to avoid further conversation. Ryder couldn’t help himself, his natural urge to poke, prod, and push was taking over.

"Why are you so uptight?" Ryder teased, his voice low and suggestive as he moved closer to the bed.

Noah groaned, rolling his eyes. "I’m not in the mood for your bullshit." He shifted uncomfortably, his leg still aching, but the irritation in his voice was unmistakable. "Can’t you ever just stop being an ass for five minutes?"

Ryder smirked and sat on the edge of the bed. "You’re no fun when you’re not yelling at me."

Noah scoffed, glaring at him. "Stop annoying me."

Ryder leaned in, his face inches from Noah’s. "Is that so?" he whispered, his breath warm against Noah’s face. "Seems like I’m already under your skin." He grinned, his voice dropping an octave, taking on a more seductive tone. "Maybe I just want to see how far I can get under it."

Noah’s eyes widened, his face flushing as Ryder closed the gap between them, their proximity suddenly far too intimate for comfort. "What the hell are you doing?" Noah muttered, shifting backward on the bed, but his voice wasn’t as firm as he wanted it to be. He could feel Ryder’s presence enveloping him, his scent, his closeness—it was all too much.

Ryder chuckled softly, enjoying Noah’s discomfort far too much. "Relax, I’m just talking," he murmured, his hand moving to rest beside Noah’s head on the bed. "Unless...you want me to do more than talk."

Noah’s breath hitched, and he glared up at Ryder, his heart racing. "Stop messing around, Ryder. I swear to god—"

"Or what?" Ryder cut him off, his voice daring, eyes locked on Noah’s.

Noah’s face burned red as he tried to push Ryder away, but Ryder was faster, grabbing his wrist and pinning it gently to the bed. "Let go of me, you asshole," Noah cursed, trying to wriggle free, but the effort was half-hearted. His mind was reeling, battling between frustration and the confusing heat Ryder’s closeness ignited in him.

Ryder smirks, softening as his gaze darkened. Noah let out a frustrated growl.

But Ryder wasn’t listening anymore. He leaned in further, so close now that Noah could feel the warmth of his breath against his lips. "Tell me to stop," Ryder whispered, his voice suddenly softer, more serious. "If you don’t want this, tell me to stop."

Noah froze, his heart thudding loudly in his chest. His mind screamed at him to shove Ryder off, to tell him to back the hell off, but his body betrayed him. His breath came in shallow, uneven bursts as Ryder’s face lingered just a breath away. Noah’s lips parted, but no words came out.

Ryder took the silence as permission. He closed the distance between them, his lips brushing softly against Noah’s at first, testing the waters. Noah’s eyes widened in shock, and he instinctively tried to pull back, but Ryder’s hand slid behind his neck, holding him in place with surprising gentleness.

"Ryder—" Noah’s voice came out in a breathless protest, but before he could finish, Ryder kissed him again, this time deeper, more insistent.

Noah’s brain was screaming at him to push Ryder away, to stop this madness. But the heat of Ryder’s lips against his, the way his body seemed to hum with electricity—it was overwhelming. And despite himself, Noah found his resistance crumbling. His body betrayed him as he hesitantly, almost instinctively, kissed back, his lips moving against Ryder’s with a mixture of frustration and undeniable need.

Ryder groaned softly, feeling Noah respond. He pulled Noah closer, deepening the kiss as if this moment had been building between them for far too long. His hand slid from Noah’s neck down to his waist, pulling him even closer as their bodies pressed together.

Noah’s mind was still numb, trying to make sense of what was happening. Why the hell am I kissing him back?

Noah sat frozen, his lips still tingling from the kiss, and he couldn’t stop the flood of emotions crashing through him. What the hell did I just do? His heart pounded in his chest, panic gripping him. He cursed himself internally. Why did I kiss him back? Wasn’t Ryder just playing games, like he always does? How could I fall for it?

The realization that he had given in, even for a moment, made Noah’s stomach twist. He felt disgusted with himself. His hands shook as he sat up straighter, his eyes fixed on the ground, refusing to meet Ryder’s gaze. He was embarrassed. Furious. He wanted to scream, wanted to cry. His chest tightened as a lump formed in his throat.

Before he could say anything, the doorbell rang.

Noah flinched at the sound. But he still couldn’t bear to look at Ryder.

Ryder, sensing Noah’s unrest, scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Uh, I’ll get it," he muttered, turning and heading toward the door. The moment Ryder stepped away, Noah’s mind spiraled further. How could I be so stupid? He’s just messing with me, like he always does.

Ryder returned with a small bag, holding the medications and ice packs. "Here," he said, his voice unusually gentle, as he offered them to Noah. "This med is better. Let me help you with your leg."

But Noah’s rage snapped. He snatched the bag from Ryder’s hand, his eyes blazing with fury. "Don’t touch me."

Ryder’s face fell in confusion. "What? I’m just trying to help."

"Help?" Noah repeated bitterly, his voice growing louder. "You think this is helping? You think I want anything from you after what just happened?"

Ryder’s expression hardened, frustration flashing across his face. "You kissed me back, Noah. Don’t act like I forced you. If you didn’t want it, you could’ve pushed me away."

Noah clenched the bag in his hands, shaking his head. "I should’ve. I should’ve shoved you away the second you got near me, but I didn’t! And now I’m sitting here feeling like an idiot because you—" His voice cracked in pain. "Because you’re just playing with me. You’ve always been playing with me."

Ryder stood there, stunned, but said nothing.

Noah’s breath hitched, and he could feel the sting of tears welling in his eyes. He didn’t want to cry in front of Ryder, but the words kept pouring out of him, raw and unfiltered. "Why are you doing this? Do you think I’m a fool? Do you think I can’t see what you’re doing? You come into my life, mess with my head, and then what? You leave whenever it’s convenient for you?"

Ryder took a step forward, his face softening. "Noah, it’s not like that—"

"No!" Noah cut him off, his voice breaking as tears finally spilled down his cheeks. "Don’t you dare stand there and pretend like you care now! You don’t! You never did!" He swiped furiously at his tears, but they kept coming, years of pent-up frustration and pain breaking free all at once. "You broke me, Ryder! I trusted you, I gave you my heart, and you just—you just threw it away like it meant nothing."

Ryder’s face twisted with guilt, but he remained silent, watching Noah unravel before him.

"And now you think you can just walk back into my life and decide when you love me, when you don’t? Do you think everything is about you? You think you can come and go whenever you please? One minute, you’re telling me you don’t love me, the next, you’re saying you do—just who the hell do you think you are?"

Noah’s voice dropped to a whisper, but the pain in his words cut deeper than any shout could. "You’ve broken me, Ryder...and now you’re standing there acting like none of it matters. Like I don’t matter."

Ryder’s guilt weighed heavy on his face, and for once, he didn’t have a snarky retort or a teasing smile. He just stood there, speechless, watching Noah crumble before him. He wanted to say something to fix this, but no words came. The truth was, he didn’t know how to repair the damage he had done.

Noah’s chest heaved with sobs, his frustration and hurt boiling over. "You think it’s a game, don’t you? You can play with my feelings, pull me in and push me away whenever you want. But I’m done, Ryder. I’m done being your toy. I’m done waiting for you to figure out what the hell you want."

Ryder swallowed hard. "Noah, I—" He reached out as if to touch him, but Noah jerked away, flinching as if Ryder’s touch would burn him.

"Don’t," Noah whispered, his voice barely holding together. "Don’t touch me."

And with that, Noah turned away, curling into himself, his sobs muffled into the pillow as he shut Ryder out completely.

Ryder stood there, helpless. He sat beside Noah and shook him. "Noah, listen to me. Just let me a chance to explain myself–"

Ryder was caught off guard when Noah pushed him back onto the bed, his body landing with a dull thud as Noah climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. Ryder’s eyes widened in shock as Noah began unbuttoning his shirt with shaky hands, each movement filled with anger and frustration.

"Noah, what are you—" Ryder tried to speak, but Noah cut him off.

"This is what you want, right?" Noah’s hands moved frantically, his chest heaving with emotion as he unzipped Ryder’s pants. "You want to play with me, toy with my feelings, mess with my head. Fine. Then take it. Do whatever you want. Fuck me however you want tonight. But after this—after tonight—you better promise to never show your face again."

Ryder’s heart dropped at Noah’s words. He reached out, grabbing Noah’s wrists to stop him. "No, Noah, stop," He sat up, pulling Noah into a tight embrace, holding him as though he could physically keep him from falling apart.

Noah tried to pull away, but Ryder held him firm, his face pressed against Noah’s shoulder. "I’m sorry," Ryder whispered, his voice cracking. "I’m so sorry."

Noah froze in his arms, but the bitterness in his voice remained. "Sorry? Sorry doesn’t fix anything, Ryder. You—" His voice broke, and he let out a strangled sob. "You’ve ruined everything."

Ryder tightened his hold on Noah. "I know. I’ve been an asshole. I’ve always been an asshole. I’ve never understood love before, and I didn’t know how to handle what I felt for you. I thought I could push you away, that I didn’t deserve to feel this way."

He slowly pulled back, his hands moving to cradle Noah’s tear-streaked face. Their eyes met, and for once, Ryder wasn’t hiding behind his usual cocky smirk. There was nothing but sincerity in his gaze. "I made a huge mistake. I was blind, Noah. My love—my heart—was right in front of me this whole time, and I was too stupid to see it."

Noah’s breath hitched, his anger mixing with the pain in his chest, but Ryder didn’t let him look away. "I love you, Noah. I love you so much, and I swear to God, I never want to hurt you again. Yes, I was an asshole, and yes, I tried to play with your feelings because I was scared. I thought if I got too close, I’d ruin everything. But the truth is, I can’t live without you. I don’t want to."

Noah’s lip trembled, his doubts creeping in despite Ryder’s words. "How can I believe you, Ryder? After everything—after all the lies. How can I trust you again?"

Ryder’s heart broke at the question, knowing he had no right to ask for Noah’s trust after all the damage he’d done. But he didn’t shy away from the pain in Noah’s eyes. "You have every right to doubt me, to hate me. But I swear, I won’t hurt you again. I’ll spend every day proving that to you if I have to. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust, Noah. Just...don’t walk away from me."

Noah’s heart was in turmoil. He had been broken by Ryder once before—could he risk it again?

Ryder’s grip on Noah tightened, his eyes pleading. "Please, Noah. Give me a second chance. I don’t care how long it takes, just...let me prove that I love you. That I won’t ever hurt you again."

For a long moment, Noah remained silent, his mind racing with every possible outcome. His heart screamed at him to protect himself, to not let Ryder back in, but there was another part—a part that still loved Ryder, despite everything—that longed to believe him.

Noah closed his eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath. When he opened them again, he whispered, "If you ever hurt me again, I swear to God—"

"I won’t," Ryder interrupted, his voice filled with conviction. "I won’t hurt you again. I promise."

With a resigned sigh, Noah finally gave in, resting his forehead against Ryder’s. Ryder’s arms wrapped around him tightly, holding him close as though he was afraid Noah would slip away.

"I hate you," Noah whispered, though the words carried no real malice.

Ryder let out a soft, shaky laugh. "I deserve that," he murmured, kissing Noah’s forehead gently. "But I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure you never have to say it again."

Noah didn’t reply, but he didn’t pull away either. He stayed there, straddling Ryder’s lap, letting himself believe—just for a moment—that maybe things could be different this time.

Ryder’s heart skipped a beat at Noah’s small nod. "So...you’re giving me a chance?" he asked softly, his voice filled with hope.

Noah, still straddling Ryder’s lap, hesitated for a moment before nodding again, more firmly this time. His face was flushed, a mix of shyness and uncertainty, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

Ryder’s grip on Noah’s waist tightened as his heart surged with relief. He let out a shaky breath. "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me."

Noah shifted, clearly still nervous, his hands gripping Ryder’s shoulders. "Don’t make me regret it."

Ryder lifted Noah’s chin, forcing him to meet his gaze. "I won’t. I’ll make this right."