DASH-Chapter 23Vol 2. : Side Story -

"But this is the last time."

Jiheon spoke as he wiped at the endless stream of tears with the palm of his hand.

"Don’t come again. I mean it. From now on, don’t ever come again. It’s only special because it’s just this once—twice, three times, and it’ll feel wrong. I wouldn’t be able to face Coach."

"Got it."

Jaekyung smiled as he gently stroked Jiheon’s tear-streaked cheek with the back of his hand.

"Promise me."

"I promise. Really."

"This is the first and last time," Jaekyung said firmly.

"So stop crying now, please."

He pulled a tissue from the table and handed it to Jiheon. While Jiheon wiped his tears, Jaekyung went to the bedroom and brought back wet wipes. He gently cleaned Jiheon’s face himself, and when he was sure the tears had stopped, he asked,

"Did you go for your walk today?"

"No."

"Should we go now?"

Instead of answering, Jiheon looked at Jaekyung. Jaekyung gave a little shrug as if to say, So what?

"There won’t be many people out at this hour."

Jiheon checked the time. It was almost ten.

It was later than usual, but not late enough that no one would be out. So he decided to put a hat on Jaekyung before heading out. Jiheon usually wore a cap for walks, so now, with both of them in hats walking side by side, they looked completely like a couple. But so what? They were a couple.

The two avoided the main road lined with buildings and instead took the quiet alleyways of the residential neighborhood. They walked at a much slower pace than usual, talking the whole way.

As expected, Jaekyung had known for quite a while that Jiheon wasn’t doing well. Jiheon wasn’t surprised—he’d figured as much. What he was worried about was whether he’d unconsciously taken that out on Jaekyung.

"You didn’t. Actually, stuff you probably would’ve scolded me for any other time, you just let slide. That’s when I figured something was off. It reminded me of last year, when you lost so much weight and struggled from the suppressant side effects."

"Jeez, your instincts are scary."

When Jiheon said it was starting to creep him out, Jaekyung deadpanned, "I can tell what you’ve been up to just by the way your sweat smells. So don’t even think about lying."

Coming from Kwon Jaekyung, even nonsense like that sounded eerily believable.

"Anyway, I figured it couldn’t be the suppressants again, so I thought—maybe this is that maternity blues thing."

Spoken like a man who’d downloaded nine pregnancy tracking apps. Jaekyung even said that every one of the apps warned husbands never to ask things like “Are you depressed?” or “Are your mood swings worse lately?” before their partner brought it up—so he’d kept his mouth shut on purpose.

"So those apps are helpful, huh."

"Yeah. No joke, all of them say the same thing. So I was like, alright, I definitely shouldn’t bring it up."

Jaekyung said it with such seriousness that Jiheon couldn’t hold back his laughter. He stopped walking, held his belly, and laughed until he doubled over. Seeing him laugh, Jaekyung laughed too—then his face turned slightly solemn.

"But hyung... I really thought you were just a little down. I had no idea you were hurting bad enough to cry like that."

His voice hinted at regret for not realizing sooner. Jiheon quickly shook his head.

"No, no. Today was the first time I cried. And it wasn’t even about something else—it’s just... I missed you so much I started crying."

"Huh...? Really?"

Jaekyung’s eyes widened. Jiheon replied earnestly.

"Yeah, really. I didn’t even miss you that badly—but when I heard your voice, I just missed you so much I couldn’t stop crying."

When Jiheon added that he’d really been surprised when Jaekyung showed up earlier, Jaekyung’s face immediately clouded over.

"Sorry... for going to camp."

"Ugh, don’t say that!"

Jiheon waved his hands in protest.

"If you start apologizing for going to training camp, I sound like a completely hopeless person. Going to camp isn’t something to apologize for, so don’t say sorry, okay?"

Then, elbowing Jaekyung lightly in the solar plexus, he said,

"Hey, I only said that to make you feel good, not so you’d feel guilty."

"Still... even if it’s because you missed me, I made you cry. How can I feel good about that? Wouldn’t that make me a total psycho?"

"So? Didn’t you feel even a little happy?"

"......Maybe a little."

Jaekyung conceded to his own psychopathy.

"Knew it."

Jiheon laughed and took Jaekyung’s hand.

Then, guiding him toward a larger road, he led the way. There were more people now than earlier, but Jiheon didn’t let go of Jaekyung’s hand. Walking side by side, still holding hands, Jiheon told him about what happened at the hospital that day.

"...So yeah, after what the doctor said, I thought, ‘Huh, maybe Jaekyung might’ve felt hurt.’"

He tilted his head slightly to peek up at Jaekyung and asked playfully,

"Did you? Were you upset that I didn’t tell you how I was feeling?"

Jaekyung paused to think, then said,

"Not upset, really. Just worried. I was like, why’s he pretending he’s fine when he’s clearly not?"

"Really?"

Jaekyung nodded.

"But then I figured... it’s not pretending. You’re just trying your best to get better fast. And if that’s how you’re dealing with it, then it’s my job to go along with it. Until you give birth, my role is to back you up, no matter what. A coxswain doesn’t steer the ship—the captain does."

"...Are you quoting that app right now?"

"No, I’m not—okay, yes."

He admitted it a beat later.

"Well, look who’s suddenly saying all the right things."

Coxswain and captain, seriously. Jiheon scoffed, but Jaekyung got defensive right away.

"I only copied the words, not the meaning! I was gonna think that way even without the app!"

"Oh really? For real?"

"For real."

Jaekyung frowned like he couldn’t believe he was being doubted. Then, as a car approached from the other side, he held Jiheon’s hand tighter and gently tugged him toward his side.

"Because you're the kind of person who wants the people you love to eat well and enjoy life more than you do. So if someone important to you is stressing out because of you, you’d hate that. That’s why I figured I’d just act like I didn’t notice anything, so your heart wouldn’t be troubled."

Jaekyung said it in his usual, calm voice.

"......"

While Jiheon was still trying to find the right words, Jaekyung began walking again, hand in hand. They turned a corner and the main road appeared, with a McDonald's across the street.

"Oh hey, my old cafeteria."

Jaekyung joked, remembering the days he used to buy breakfast there before training.

"Yeah, let’s go there."

Jiheon pointed, and Jaekyung looked at him as if asking, Why?

"For ice cream."

"Hyung, can you eat that?"

That was his first concern. If Jiheon had said no, Jaekyung would’ve skipped it too.

"Yeah, I passed the glucose test."

"Seriously?"

Jaekyung’s face lit up.

"Of course! Hey, looking at my A1c numbers, I could probably eat a whole cake every day until I give birth and still be fine."

"Ooh!"

Jaekyung was more thrilled than he was when he won a gold medal. He hugged Jiheon and let out a cheer.

They each bought an ice cream cone and stepped out of the store. Jaekyung had wanted to get one chocolate and one vanilla, but Jiheon said carrying two cones would look ridiculous, so he reluctantly gave up on the chocolate.

They waited for the light to change in silence, focused entirely on eating their cones. By the time they crossed the street and turned into a side alley, both of them had empty hands.

"Wow, McDonald’s ice cream is good."

"Told you."

"But it’s too small."

"That’s why I said we should’ve gotten two."

Jaekyung suddenly exploded with outrage about being denied the chocolate one earlier.

"Next time, I’m getting two chocolates no matter what."

"I think you should be the one taking the glucose test, not me."

"I’m fine. Sugar or carbs—whatever I eat, I burn it [N O V E L I G H T] all off that same day."

"And what about when you stop swimming?"

"I dunno."

Jaekyung clicked his tongue like he didn’t want to think that far ahead.

"Unbelievable."

Jiheon laughed in disbelief. Jaekyung blinked innocently, like, What? What’d I do?, and then suddenly said,

"Hyung."

"Your shoelace came undone. On the left."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, you’re right."

Jiheon looked around for a spot to prop his foot up, but before he could, Jaekyung said, "Come here," and guided him to the inner side of the street. Then, without warning, he knelt down on one knee in front of Jiheon.

"Hey, what the—don’t do that!"

Realizing what Jaekyung was about to do, Jiheon panicked. But Jaekyung ignored him completely.

"Hold still. I’ve always wanted to try this."

Jaekyung said something ridiculous and pulled Jiheon’s left foot onto his knee, untying the half-undone shoelace entirely.

"Seriously, stop..."

Jiheon looked around nervously. It was late enough that not many people were out, but it wasn’t totally empty.

Sure enough, a middle-aged woman walking from the other direction spotted Jaekyung kneeling on the ground and widened her eyes. A guy that big, crouched in the middle of the street at this hour—she looked alarmed at first. But when she saw that he was tying Jiheon’s shoelaces, her expression softened. She even gave Jiheon a warm smile before continuing on her way.