I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality-Chapter 63 - 52: Piling Technique, Puppet Manipulation Skill

Chapter 63: Chapter 52: Piling Technique, Puppet Manipulation Skill

The Government Office was much quieter than usual today because many clerks and constables had been dispatched to the neighboring courtyard to supervise the examination.

Gatekeeper Qin knew Xu Qing, recognizing him as both the junior apprentice brother and student of Old Wang from the Morgue, so he did not interfere and allowed him to come and go freely.

The Patrol Office was neither large nor small. Xu Qing had walked through it several times and was already quite familiar with it. He would nod to familiar faces and managed to build relationships with those who controlled access—like Gatekeeper Qin, to whom he had previously brought a bottle of wine and a piece of cured meat to maintain their rapport.

Such networking is indispensable in the business world. If Gatekeeper Qin were to pass away, Xu Qing might need to preside over his funeral.

There were also the patrolling constables, who often encountered high-risk situations and had a higher mortality rate than ordinary people. These were potential clients. By frequently visiting the Government Office and becoming a familiar face, Xu Qing could ensure new business opportunities.

With Tang Scribe and Senior Brother Wang’s connections, this wasn’t difficult to manage.

After all, in terms of service, no other Funeral Shop in Linhe was more professional than his. Even in terms of price, he was the most affordable.

If not for the inherent unsuitability of promoting funeral services, he would have learned promotional techniques from the Celestial Heart Sect’s Dharma Transmission Envoy, offering discounts to customers—like half-price for a second funeral for the same family, and 20% off for referrals from friends and relatives...

But unfortunately, while the Celestial Heart Sect could use rebellion for promotion, his business simply couldn’t follow suit.

...

In the Coroner’s Office, Xu Qing’s eyes, like those of a compass, were irresistibly drawn to the room where the corpses were kept as soon as he entered.

Wang Lingyuan, assuming the posture of a senior, sternly asked why he was here instead of at the examination hall.

"It’s because I missed you, Senior Brother. Everyone from the Government Office went to maintain order at the examination hall, leaving you without anyone to talk to. After finishing my exam, I thought I’d come and chat with you to break the monotony."

"Flattery! You’re here for the corpses, not me!"

Wang Lingyuan jokingly cursed, his words light-hearted, but his heart warmed by the sentiment.

He had no children, and as a lonely old man, half of his life was filled with solitude. Having this younger apprentice brother think of him brought him joy.

Next door, in the examination hall, the sound of pens on paper rustled continuously, and the ticking of the copper water clock sounded like a death knell, preventing anyone from relaxing before submitting their papers.

Just a wall away in the Coroner’s Office, Xu Qing and Wang Lingyuan stood together, laughing and talking. From time to time, they would mark and sketch on the corpse, circling one knowledge point after another.

"This male corpse has an erect member post-mortem. From a common perspective, people would say he was consumed by lust, a ghost of desire.

But in forensic practice, there is no such notion."

"Junior brother, take a guess. Why does he exhibit this reaction post-mortem?"

Xu Qing measured with the autopsy ruler, noting the narrowness. "It’s not worth mentioning."

After pondering for a moment, he replied, "I guess this corpse either died standing or face-down, causing blood to pool in his member, making it erect."

Xu Qing had recently read many forensic texts, including an anecdote from a former official about a young couple. One day, the husband accidentally fell face-down and died.

Although he was dead, his private part remained vigorous, almost as if he were alive.

The man’s wife, known for her lasciviousness, saw this while keeping vigil in the mourning hall.

Thinking her husband’s ghost was lingering for intimate reasons, she engaged in an unseemly act right there.

Friends and relatives who came to mourn heard the noise and were shocked upon entering the mourning hall.

Bad news spreads fast; the incident grew increasingly exaggerated, eventually reaching the Prefect’s ears.

The Prefect summoned those involved. The woman insisted it was her husband’s ghost, seeking one last night of passion before burial.

As it happened, the Prefect was skilled in solving cases and had a good understanding of forensic examination. He ordered the ’lustful ghost’ brought forward for careful inspection.

Upon close examination, the Prefect concluded there was no ghost involved and the post-mortem erection was simply due to blood pooling.

After Xu Qing finished recounting the tale, Wang Lingyuan couldn’t help but remark, "Your forensic skills are already on par with mine. I have nothing left to teach."

"You’re too kind, Senior Brother. I still have much to learn. Without your guidance, who knows how long it would take me to master these skills..." Xu Qing humbly replied, though he was confident in his heart.

Not to mention the Sutra of Salvation which could read people’s lives, his knowledge of corpses was unparalleled. After all, he himself was a walking corpse. He knew better than anyone whether a corpse could rise.

After chatting with Wang Lingyuan, Xu Qing finally got a chance to examine the Celestial Heart Sect rebels’ corpses.

Flipping through the Sutra of Salvation revealed the rebels’ history.

Xu Qing started with the lowest-ranking underling and worked his way to the Incense Master of the Celestial Heart Sect branch.

A total of twelve corpses. Though most were of common rank, their number provided plenty of rewards, nearly equaling a month’s revenue from the Funeral Shop!

Common rewards like Strength Pills, Healing Talismans, and Dog Skin Ointment were not worth mentioning.

The more unusual ones included the Light Body Technique, Returning Snake Technique, Child Crying Spell, aphrodisiac recipe, Fierce Battle Technique, etc...

The aphrodisiac recipe and Fierce Battle Technique even came from the same corpse.

Xu Qing wondered if they were trying to create a perpetual motion machine.

Besides these bizarre low-grade rewards, what Xu Qing prized most were two lower-tier rewards from the Celestial Heart Sect Incense Master—Piling Technique and Puppet Manipulation Skill.

The Piling Technique, as the name suggests, involves using a curse to anchor a person’s body to another object. Once applied, the person feels no pain even when struck by blades or clubs.

In contrast, the ’body substitute’ takes all the damage, but there is a limit: once the substitute is destroyed, the practitioner can no longer negate the damage.

Apart from the Piling Technique, the Incense Master also had a Heterodox Technique called Puppet Manipulation Skill.

In essence, it involves creating a puppet with threads. Whether for daily chores or combat, the puppet serves as a reliable assistant, almost like an extra limb.

Upon delving into its mysteries, Xu Qing found many similarities between Puppet Manipulation Skill and Silk Shadow Puppetry, though the former included an Abnormal Technique which allowed the puppet to be concealed in shadows, a skill only those with significant cultivation could manage.