I won't fall for the queen who burned my world-Chapter 250: Lara, please, we’re busy

The sound that echoed through the Demon Palace was not regal.

It was not dignified. It was not the kind of sound one expected from the ruling family.

It was the sound of someone being strangled.

"YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!" Malvoria bellowed as she had her younger sister in a headlock, one muscular arm wrapped tightly around Lara’s throat as they both stumbled into the royal salon like a pair of drunken gladiators.

"I SAID I TRIED TO RESIST—!"

"YOU DON’T TRY TO RESIST A CELESTIAN PRINCESS UNDER HEAT-SPELL SMOKE, YOU RUN!"

"I TRIED TO PROTECT HER!"

"WITH YOUR PANTS DOWN?!"

Furniture toppled. A decorative sword fell off the wall. The staff peered from around corners with wide, horrified eyes.

Elysia sat serenely on the couch, sipping tea while Kaelith gnawed on a fireproof rattle in her lap, kicking her feet like a content baby dragon.

"She’s going to kill her," said Thalor, watching from the other couch.

"She’ll pass out first," Elysia replied, completely unbothered. "Mal’s angry, not homicidal."

Lara flailed beneath Malvoria’s grip. "Okay—! Okay! I get it! I shouldn’t have slept with the princess—"

Malvoria roared. "YOU DON’T SAY!"

Elysia cleared her throat delicately. "Technically, she’s the Crown Princess of the Celestial Courts."

"NOT HELPING," Lara wheezed.

Malvoria finally released her, shoving her down onto the plush rug like a sack of poor life choices. She stood over her sister, chest heaving, goldeb eyes blazing.

"Do you realize what you’ve done?" she growled.

"Yes," Lara said, gulping air dramatically. "I’ve created a beautiful diplomatic disaster."

"You’ve created a Celestian heir!" Malvoria snapped.

Thalor coughed. "Technically, wouldn’t it be a dual-heritage heir? Half demon, half—"

"SHUT UP, FATHER IN LAW."

Elysia calmly reached for a cookie. "So. Now that everyone’s screamed and strangled and bruised the carpet, can we all agree this is a problem for later?"

Malvoria whipped around. "Later?!"

Elysia raised an eyebrow. "Yes. Later. Because in case anyone forgot, we still have Kaelith’s banquet to organize."

Kaelith gurgled helpfully and threw her rattle.

Malvoria looked down at her daughter, who blinked up at her with innocent, smoke-ring eyes, and then back to Lara, who was trying to sit upright without looking guilty or proud.

"I can’t believe this," she muttered.

"We can multitask," Elysia said brightly. "One nation-building crisis at a time."

Malvoria stomped over and collapsed into the armchair next to her wife. "Do you know what the Celestial Queen said in the letter?"

"No," Elysia admitted. "But I’m sure it was very composed and threatening."

"She said, and I quote, ’Your sister’s unholy libido has tainted the purity of our divine lineage, and I expect her head or her vows by the next moon cycle.’"

There was a pause.

Then Lara, still on the floor, raised a hand. "For the record, I tried to leave her alone. I had her under magical lockdown, but she broke it."

"She broke it because she was under a smoke-lust spell!" Malvoria snapped.

"Exactly!" Lara said, throwing her arms wide. "And I’m not a monster! She was all flushed and whispering weird poetry and—and she touched me!"

Elysia nearly choked on her tea. "She touched your you? Oh gods, you were doomed."

"You don’t understand," Lara said, deadly serious. "She kissed my shoulder and told me she wanted me.’ That does things to a woman."

"Yeah," Malvoria hissed. "It does pregnancy!"

Kaelith chose that moment to shriek happily, little purple flames bursting from her mouth.

Elysia scooped her up, rocking her gently. "See? Even Kaelith thinks it’s dramatic."

"She’s going to have a cousin," Thalor said, a little dazed. "That’s... sort of nice?"

Malvoria stared at him. "You’re the worst voice of reason we’ve ever had."

"I’m trying."

"We don’t need hope, we need a strategy."

"Later," Elysia repeated calmly. "Banquet first. Crisis second."

"Can’t we swap the order?"

"No. Because Kaelith is only two months old once. And because I already paid for twenty-eight crystal centerpieces, a live music trio, and a caramel fountain shaped like a baby dragon."

Malvoria blinked. "You what?"

"And I hired a fireworks mage from the East who does spells in the shape of ancestral constellations. It’s very tasteful."

"Elysia."

"Also," Elysia added, kissing Kaelith’s forehead, "I may have invited the Celestian princess."

Everyone went still.

Lara sat up so fast her spine cracked. "You what?"

"I invited her," Elysia said, completely unfazed. "She deserves to meet Kaelith. And besides, if she’s pregnant, we should probably have a... a civil reunion."

Malvoria buried her face in her hands. "You invited your maybe sister-in-law slash unresolved romance hurricane to our baby’s royal banquet?"

Elysia nodded serenely. "Yes."

Lara looked pale. "She’ll kill me."

"She’ll try," Malvoria muttered. "But I’ll be there. And if she touches your you again, I’m breaking her."

Kaelith squeaked and blew a tiny fire ring.

Lara groaned and lay back down. "I need a hole. A big, political hole to hide in."

"You can help hang the banners," Elysia said cheerfully.

"I hate you all."

"I’m giving you a chance to fix your mistakes with pastries and ambiance," Elysia replied. ƒreewebηoveℓ.com

Malvoria slowly turned her head to stare at her wife. "Did you just say ambiance?"

"Yes. And don’t look at me like that. I’m pregnant-adjacent, I’m allowed to be soft."

Malvoria sighed. She stared down at her daughter, who yawned, showing a tiny flicker of her emerging fangs.

"I hate that you’re right," she muttered.

"I know," Elysia said, kissing her cheek. "You’ll forgive me when the rose fountains go off."

Malvoria narrowed her eyes. "There are fountains now?"

Lara groaned again, dramatically sprawled on the floor like a fallen martyr. "Kill me before the Celestians do. Please."

Malvoria didn’t even glance at her. Instead, she slowly turned toward Elysia with narrowed eyes. "What else did you get ready?"

Elysia sipped her tea like she’d been waiting for that question all day. "Well..."

"Elysia."

"Just the basics," she said sweetly. "The constellations fireworks mage, like I mentioned. Oh, and the enchanted flower arch for the entrance—lavender and silver flame lilies. They don’t wilt, they sparkle."

Malvoria sat forward, suddenly interested. "You got flame lilies? Those are seasonal. And illegal in half the southern provinces."

"I pulled some favors."

Malvoria’s eyes glinted. "I love you."

Lara groaned louder from the floor. "I am dying. Dying, I say."

"And I commissioned a custom cake," Elysia continued, ignoring her sister-in-law completely. "It’s six tiers. Enchanted so that when you cut it, it sings a lullaby in a minor key."

Malvoria actually gasped. "You did not."

Elysia smiled like a proud warlord. "Kaelith’s lullaby. I had the court bard transcribe it from her babbling."

"That’s genius," Malvoria whispered, eyes shining with awe.

"Right?"

"Oh my gods." Malvoria stood and began pacing, hands clasped behind her back like she was preparing a siege.

"Alright, alright, if we’re going that hard, we need ambient lighting runes in every hall, even the outer corridors. I want everything to glow like starlight."

"I already placed an order for silver lantern spells," Elysia said. "They’ll drift through the air like fireflies."

Lara sat up slowly. "Are you both—are you high on party planning?"

"Yes," they said in unison.

Malvoria turned to Elysia, the glint in her eye now borderline manic. "What about music? Tell me there’s a string quartet that doubles as assassins."

"There’s a string quartet that used to be assassins," Elysia said proudly. "They retired last year. They play haunting lullabies."

"I could cry," Malvoria whispered.

"You’re welcome."

Lara dragged herself toward the couch. "I’m going to be executed by a woman I slept with under a smoke spell, and you’re planning assassins-as-musicians?"

Malvoria waved a hand. "Lara, please, we’re busy."

"This is important," Elysia added. "Kaelith only gets one first banquet."

"I might only get one last day of life."

"Then make it count," Malvoria said absently. "Now, Elysia, what about the guest favors? Tell me you didn’t go basic."

Elysia lit up. "Glass flasks engraved with Kaelith’s constellation sigil. Filled with a drop of flame-mist nectar. Tied with a silk ribbon."

Malvoria stopped pacing.

She turned slowly.

"You perfect, brilliant woman."

"I know."

They stared at each other in shared, sparkling, terrifying excitement.

Lara looked between them. "You’re not even hearing me."

"Nope," Malvoria said.

"Not at all," Elysia added.

Kaelith sneezed from her blanket pile, sending a tiny ember into the air.

Lara watched it flicker, sighed, and muttered, "Great. I’m going to die surrounded by floating lanterns and pastel hors d’oeuvres."

Lara slumped back against the couch with a dramatic sigh as Malvoria and Elysia began sketching out seating charts on a velvet cushion like they were drafting battle formations.

"Do you think the Celestian princess should be seated near the dessert fountain or the fire dancers?" Elysia mused.

"Fire dancers," Malvoria said. "If she bursts into flames, we can pretend it’s part of the show."

Kaelith giggled from her blanket pile, as if she approved.

Lara covered her face. "This family is insane."

Malvoria grinned. "Yes. But we throw phenomenal banquets."

Elysia winked. "Now go polish your boots. You’re meeting royalty."