ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 196: Pinkies, Punishments, and Promotions ( )

Inside the Macia Adventurer Guild.

The early hours hadn’t been kind to Guild Master Braham.

Dark circles hung under his eyes. His cloak was slightly crooked. A steaming mug of something very bitter sat untouched on his desk.

He stood with arms crossed, surrounded by the entire morning staff.

"All right," he barked, voice tired but sharp. "You, and you—" he pointed at two beastkin receptionists, both of whom flinched, ears twitching nervously. "Head to the orphanage. If that black-haired human is there, tell him I want to see him."

"If he asks why," Braham continued, rubbing his temple, "just say it’s about the goblin ears... and the goblin settlement incident."

The two girls nodded rapidly. "Y-Yes, Guild Master!"

"And you—" he pointed at the clerk in charge of quest payments.

"Make sure the reward for that extermination is ready. Properly counted. With hazard bonus. That’s not a normal cleanup mission."

"Yes, Guild Master!"

He swept his gaze over the group again.

"If I catch even one of you slacking—!!"

"We won’t, Guild Master!!" everyone chorused in terror.

Braham let out a breath, then glanced toward the sparring hall.

"...And you—" he pointed at the scheduling officer. "Get the ranking materials ready. Test forms, crystals, everything. I want to see if that human is ready to move up from newbie status."

He paused.

"Depending on what I sense, he might already qualify as A-Class."

Whispers broke out.

"A-Class...? Already?"

"...Isn’t that the guy who submitted the wrong goblin ears?"

"Shut up. He’s the one who killed that monster horde."

Braham raised a hand to silence them—then cracked his neck.

"...Actually, cancel the trainer request."

The hall fell silent.

"I’ll test him myself."

"But Guild Master," the Deputy Guild Master stepped forward, visibly tense.

"You’re an ex A+ rank solo. That’s way beyond normal trainer capacity!"

A murmur rippled through the staff.

"Solo rank and party rank aren’t the same, if you test him personally and don’t hold back like last time—!"

Braham grinned.

A wide, dangerous grin.

"Heh~ That’s exactly what I want."

The deputy flinched. "No! That’s what we don’t want!"

"You’re level 93, for God sake!"

Braham cracked his knuckles, clearly enjoying the idea more by the second.

"Even the highest registered adventurer on record is level 152. And your old party member, That crazy human berserker was lvl 89!"

More murmurs.

"Didn’t he break a siege wall by punching it?"

"I heard he only left adventuring to fix walls."

The deputy slammed both hands on the desk.

"Please!! Let the trainers handle it! At least we know they’ll hold back!"

"Ugh! Fine, fine!" Braham groaned, waving a hand dramatically.

"Now you two!" Braham barked, pointing at the two beastkin receptionists still hovering nervously near the door.

"Go fetch that human adventurer!"

"Y-Yes, Guild Master!!"

The girls didn’t wait a second longer.

They rushed out of the guild hall, tails twitching behind them as they disappeared through the front doors at full sprint.

Silence lingered for a moment.

The Deputy Guild Master let out a long, tired sigh, one hand rubbing his forehead like it had been throbbing for hours.

"...This battle freak..."

He glanced sideways at Braham, who was now pacing like a beast waiting for the arena bell to ring.

"He lives for fist fights. Brawls. Clashes. Not paperwork, not politics... just pure muscle and magic."

He muttered quietly under his breath.

"If only he had shown up during the monster incident..."

He looked again at the files.

If he had stepped in back then, maybe we’d be writing damage reports instead of payout forms.

Meanwhile, Hazuki was walking toward Macia, hands in his pockets, eyes lazily scanning the scenery.

The road was quiet. A few carts passed by. The wind was cool.

Ridan was perched on Hazuki’s right shoulder.

"Ridan."

"...What?"

"You can float and fly... So why are you using me like a personal seat?"

"Heh... Aren’t we buddies?"

Hazuki narrowed his eyes.

"Buddies don’t mooch off my shoulder."

Ridan gave an exaggerated sigh and folded his stubby arms.

"If I float around too much, I’ll end up using more of your mana."

Hazuki blinked. "I’ve never felt tired even once."

"...Of course not. That’s because your mana pool is—"

Hazuki tilted his head. "Hmm?"

"—Nothing, man!"

He floated up half an inch, then settled right back down.

"You need to find a buyer for that pile of monster loot, remember? You promised me we’d get the best meat in town! And booze!"

Hazuki sighed. "You can’t drink."

"I can taste if I touch it!"

"You sound like a spoiled spirit."

"Then buy me a whole grilled boar thigh. I want to hover in flavor."

"Yeah yeah... I will." Hazuki muttered, adjusting his grip on the strap of his bag. "After I sell all those monster parts."

"Good." Ridan shifted on his shoulder, misty form bouncing slightly.

"Slurp..."

His tongue (if he had one) made an exaggerated licking sound.

"I can’t wait."

Hazuki smirked. "Heh~ Like you can drool anyway."

"Shut up!" Ridan huffed, puffing up like a smoky balloon. "I’m an ancient spirit, y’know! Thousand years old! You should show some respect!"

Hazuki raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, yeah. And I’m the King of this World~"

He threw his arms up with a dramatic wave like he was greeting imaginary peasants.

"You’re lucky I don’t curse your underpants."

"I don’t wear any."

"...I know. That’s the real curse."

Hazuki chuckled as they walked closer toward the gates of Macia, the guard towers now visible in the distance.

As they neared the town gate, two beastkin guild receptionists stood near the side of the road, eyes sharp, tails twitching with tension.

"There he is!"

The moment Hazuki came into view, they rushed toward him.

"Mister Hazuki," one said quickly, "Guild Master Braham would like to meet with you."

Hazuki blinked, one hand resting lazily on his hip.

"Who?"

"Our... guild master," the other girl replied, trying to keep her voice calm. "The one managing this Macia branch."

Hazuki tilted his head. "For what?"

"About... um... the goblin settlement you destroyed," she answered carefully.

"Ah."

Hazuki stretched his arms behind his head and yawned.

"Yeah, I don’t care about that anymore. If you’ll excuse me—"

"Please, Mister Hazuki!" the first receptionist stepped in front of him slightly.

"It’s about the reward. The hazard bonus. It’s ready."

Hazuki paused.

"...Oh?"

The second girl added quickly, "And the rank-up test. The Guild Master said you should be ready to promote now."

Hazuki turned his head slightly and glanced at Ridan, still floating smugly on his shoulder.

Then he kept walking.

"No thanks. Not interested."

( End Of Chapter )