Knowing Brother-Chapter 48

It was during the darkened walk to school, crossing the crosswalk in front of the school after passing streetlights and telephone poles, that I adjusted my tie.

Bzzzt- The vibration rang. The second call from Won Daeyoung came.

The big competition was the day after tomorrow, and he was probably in the middle of intense training at the Jamsil Sports Complex. Did he finish early? If he’s calling this time of day, there was a high chance he wanted to go home together. If we went home together, there was also a high chance we'd grab a snack at the sports facility at the top of the neighborhood and then part ways.

Choi Seolwoo wanted to avoid talking to Won Daeyoung, at least until he grew numb to his new relationship.

So, he didn’t answer the call. He planned to claim he was sleeping. Even though Daeyoung had called twice, there was no response. It was strange that no chat message came through either.

He must be busy. That’s a relief, he thought, walking for about 5 minutes along the path next to the sports field when the vibration rang again.

This time, it was the school president’s call. Seolwoo paused for a moment and put his phone to his ear.

"Yes, senior?"

"Oh, Seolwoo. Are you by any chance at school?"

"I'm on my way in. I had to stop by the hospital first."

"The hospital? Oh, I see... So, you're coming from the advanced class?"

"Yes. I’m at the sports field."

"Got it. We can fill out the club membership form together at the teacher’s office tomorrow morning. I’ll contact you tomorrow."

"Okay. Thanks."

He answered politely and hung up, but inside, he was a little dissatisfied. Was it really necessary to make a phone call for something that could’ve been done by text? It was exhausting.

Muttering to himself, he walked along the path. The lights from the third-year classrooms, where the night self-study was in progress, illuminated the dark school.

He quickened his steps, wanting to get to the study room before the break ended. The advanced class entrance was closer through the west side door. When he opened the dimly lit entrance and stepped inside, he heard an unfamiliar presence in the darkness.

Seolwoo suddenly looked up, sensing someone moving in the shadows. A faint metallic sound was heard.

"Shit... foot."

The lights flickered on, revealing a figure in athletic wear pacing at the top of the stairs. It must have been coming from the direction of the advanced class study room.

Based on the school president’s call confirming Seolwoo’s location, it was easy to guess who was responsible.

Won Daeyoung, with his phone tucked into the pocket of his training shorts, clumsily walked down the stairs.

"Seolwoo, you’re giving senior preferential treatment. How cruel."

His face, casually smiling, came closer.

There was no way to offer a reasonable excuse. Having been caught red-handed for avoiding his call, the only thing left to do was to face him directly and ask what he wanted.

"Why are you looking for me?"

The sound of windbreakers rustling echoed through the quiet hallway. Daeyoung tilted his body slightly, scanning Seolwoo with a sharp gaze that briefly came close to Seolwoo’s face before vanishing. Daeyoung’s faint smile remained.

"Who could you possibly be here to see in this tired state? Are you secretly dating someone, Seolwoo?"

The smirk on his face only made Seolwoo more tense, prompting him to ask again. fɾeewebnoveℓ.co๓

"Did you come here to apologize?"

"No, I’m not here to apologize. I’m not so free as to delay my lesson and wait in front of the advanced class just for that."

The fake smile quickly faded, and a languid look replaced it.

"I didn’t know you were going to the hospital today. I didn’t know you were offered an audition at Youngseo’s company, or that you were switching to the writing club. I didn’t know anything else. Just thought I’d come to ask."

"..."

"What’s the problem? What do we need to fix? Tell me."

Daeyoung’s focus on solutions mirrored Seolwoo’s own tendencies. It was almost a relief not to have to dive into complicated emotions. In his fast speech, Daeyoung recited his conclusion.

"If it’s about Youngseo, you would have mentioned it during our last call. You wouldn’t be the type to hide your feelings to let me have her, right, Seolwoo?"

As someone who had observed Seolwoo for a long time, Daeyoung’s analysis was spot on. Though, he had misjudged who Seolwoo’s hidden feelings were directed toward.

"If there’s something I don’t know, tell me. Now."

The harsh fluorescent light in the hallway illuminated Daeyoung’s cold expression without any mercy. Seolwoo blinked a few times before responding.

"I know that your training fees ended up in Mrs. Choi’s wallet."

That was the only explanation for the distance between them. After some thought, Daeyoung’s voice grew firm.

"No. That was before."

"...Before what?"

"The feeling that you’ve been forcing your way into my personal space."

Daeyoung. No matter how cynical he was about everything else and how little he trusted humanity, his animal-like instincts about those close to him were still intact. He had sensed Seolwoo’s dilemma, someone who couldn’t fully separate from him but couldn’t stay close either.

‘I thought everything would get easier after three years, after I decided I was okay with it. But I’m still playing a part in front of him,’ Seolwoo thought.

"...You’re right. Honestly, Daeyoung, it was too burdensome for me to be so close to you. You nailed it. To be honest, we don’t really have much in common unless it’s from childhood. We’re not that connected. People probably think the same way. Track team, writing club, anemia. Am I wrong?"

Seolwoo wanted to stop this act, but it wasn’t easy. He was full of lies.

He always wanted to ask. Was it my fault for lying, or was it the people who made me lie?

"Forget about the excuse that everyone thinks that. Just tell me your side."

Daeyoung’s true nature was beginning to show. His voice, cold and ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) commanding, was unmistakably lowering. Seolwoo had no choice but to stand his ground to not be intimidated by the chilling air.

"If you don’t like the attitude of me forcing my way into your space, then I’ll be removed from your friends list. You’re the one in control, so you have nothing to say."

"I know you won’t do that, but the one who says that is the real one in control."

Muttering to himself, Daeyoung’s face darkened as he threw the next question at Seolwoo.

"Seolwoo. Do you need me around? Was that why you kept me close?"

Daeyoung’s icy gaze carried a hint of disillusionment as he stared at Seolwoo.

"When Gang Jonghyuk fell out, and you found your place, do you think I’m no longer needed?"

‘Need.’ That word had been buried deep within Daeyoung. Growing up in a cold family where you had to be useful to be accepted, relationships based on need were of utmost importance to him.

Seolwoo realized right away that Daeyoung had noticed he had touched a deep, unresolved issue.

The memory of a cold dawn behind a funeral home resurfaced. Daeyoung’s trembling shoulders, overwhelmed by uncontrollable tears. Seolwoo sighed deeply with a heavy heart, shaking his head.

"It’s not like that. If I wanted to stay close to you out of need or purpose, I would have stuck even closer. I would have stayed by your side until I needed your sympathy."

Daeyoung’s forehead wrinkled tightly at the self-deprecating words.

He glared at Seolwoo with a look that seemed to carry forbidden words. After a few breaths, his expression turned even colder, and he gripped Seolwoo’s arm tightly.

"Seolwoo. Listen well. Never bring that kind of talk up in front of anyone. Especially to someone who has cared for you."

His voice was devoid of warmth. For the first time, Daeyoung was angry with Seolwoo. The shock hit Seolwoo’s temples like a cold, icy shard.

"You don’t just casually throw around words like sympathy, whether it’s from a lover, a friend, or family. That’s self-pity, and you’re stabbing yourself with it. If you stay trapped in that mindset, you’ll never be happy or equal with anyone. You’ll be miserable, forever trapped in it. Got it?"

Daeyoung, who never got angry at Seolwoo despite all the teasing, was now delivering harsh words. It made Seolwoo’s heart drop even more than any cold dismissal from the past.

In the moment of being overwhelmed by a sudden impulse, Seolwoo couldn’t stop himself. Shame and regret came rushing over him.

Seolwoo took a deep breath, his gaze falling to the floor as he sighed heavily.

"Not once did I keep you around for sympathy. You know better than anyone that I’m not that kind of pure person. I had fun with you because you’re Seolwoo, not because I felt sorry for you."

He couldn’t find anything to say back, his face flushed with heat. He felt his pride shatter, and the sharp words escaped his mouth.

"Then, do you think I should be your closest friend out of your own self-pity?"

He knew he crossed the line, but couldn’t stop.

"Since I’m the only one who knows about your family issues, do you think I have to stay close to you? That’s not self-pity? If it’s not, then why would you delay your lesson and spend time with me? I’m starting to think that’s why."

The fierce breath between them tangled as they stood face to face.

Daeyoung, whose habit was not to offer an affirmative answer, remained silent for a while. His expression turned colder, and Seolwoo wondered if this was a sign that he had truly lost Daeyoung’s affection.

Eventually, Daeyoung spoke again.

"This hurts. This really sucks."

"......"

His face remained eerily calm despite the words. Seolwoo felt suffocated.

It felt as though his chest was about to burst. Seolwoo regretted what he just said. It was regret he couldn’t undo. Daeyoung’s eyes, colder than ever, dropped to the ground, and Seolwoo let out another painful breath.

Normally, he would have checked his breathing by now, but today, under the bright light, Daeyoung just stood there, staring at Seolwoo silently. His emotionless voice fell on Seolwoo’s forehead.

"I’ll show you if it’s sympathy or whatever. I’ll go to the game without any routine this time."

Seolwoo wished he could tell him now—"I’m sorry if I made you feel I was forcing myself into your space. That wasn’t my intention. I’ll stay close to you as a best friend." But that felt impossible.

He wanted to say it, that his feelings for Daeyoung were so complicated...

The door slammed open and shut. The heat from Daeyoung’s departure still lingered in the space. The weight of their parting felt like a heavy iron lump. Seolwoo held the railing with his trembling hands and climbed the stairs. Once seated in the study room, his breath came out in a delayed gasp.