My Super Beautiful Lady Boss-Chapter 591 - 586: The Bizarre Candidate

Su Xuan felt like a fish in water in the examination hall, especially since a few behind him had collapsed onto their desks, giving up on the exam. It seemed they were overwhelmed by his domineering aura, oh no, by the aura of his handsome and dashing appearance, exactly, it had to be that.

When the two invigilators came in and saw everyone behind Su Xuan laid out, they didn’t dare to come over. Instead, after entering, they firmly shut the door and touched their chests as they sighed with relief, as if afraid someone would barge in from outside.

Su Xuan himself was quite pleased, and although he appeared to be very hot and even puffed out his cheeks to blow some air into his pants, the invigilators bore with it because this minor odor was nothing compared to the ’strange scent’ outside.

With a brushstroke as powerful as a dragon or a snake, Su Xuan no longer focused on the completeness of the Three Character Classic but innovated on the style of the characters, astonishing the main invigilators with eyes almost popping out. This candidate was extraordinary, his handwriting bore the shadow of Wang Xizhi, the grace of Liu Gongquan, the spontaneity of Huai Su, the force of Yan Zhenqing... so much so that their eyes nearly blurred with the abundance!

Finally, Su Xuan stopped writing, admiring his work on the Three Character Classic, extremely satisfied with it.

Qiuyue outside had also ’let it rip’ to her heart’s content and was now sitting quietly waiting for Su Xuan.

Since there were too many candidates in the cultural field, the examinations could only take place one session at a time. After Su Xuan finished his exam, he had to go to the waiting area and couldn’t discuss with others except for those who had completed their exams, to prevent leakage of the questions.

Since Su Xuan’s name was on the answer sheet he handed in, and also on the list of candidates on the wall, everyone roughly confirmed that this talented individual was indeed named Su Xuan.

Seeing that Su Xuan was unreservedly farting in the examination hall, everyone saw him as a forthright person and admired one who dared to express the needs of his body so freely.

Su Xuan chuckled awkwardly and said, "Sorry about that, it was beyond my control. Please forgive me if I’ve offended anyone."

With these words, Su Xuan immediately received everyone’s forgiveness, including those few who had been fumigated into unconsciousness by his farts. Why was everyone treating Su Xuan with such courtesy? Why indeed!

Without a doubt, besides Su Xuan’s good looks, everyone was deeply impressed by his calligraphy. Who would have thought that such a young man could have mastered such proficient skills? Truly a godlike figure, and to be able to talk and chat with such a person was naturally a great fortune.

Su Xuan’s scores for this round soon came out—full marks for Su Xuan!

Fifteen were deducted fifty points for sleeping in the examination hall.

...

Note: Scores of eighty and above could advance to the next round.

When Song Tianbao, who was upstairs in the main hall, saw the full marks scored by Su Xuan, he was overjoyed. Damn, there was actually someone who got full marks, how impressive!

"Dad, what’s so great about full marks? I scored ninety-nine back in the day, and I didn’t even bother with that last point. Of course, if it had been offered to me, I wouldn’t have turned it down," Song Shuangshuang chuckled.

Indeed, Song Shuangshuang had scored ninety-nine back then. That had always been a mystery, as she had been the sole candidate during that exam. Song Tianbao, wanting to hold a coming-of-age ceremony for his daughter, promised that if she scored over ninety, he would fulfill a small wish of hers.

Imitating her father, Song Shuangshuang found the teacher responsible for both invigilating and marking the exam, and threatened, "If you let me score ninety-five or above, I’ll fulfill a small wish of yours."

In the end, she bribed the teacher with a chicken leg and successfully scored ninety-nine points. Thinking back, those memories were still fresh in her mind.

"I think this Su Xuan definitely has what it takes to be my teacher. I scored ninety-nine back then, and he scored a hundred now. It looks like I was deliberately waiting for him," Song Shuangshuang mused.

Song Tianbao shook his head and said, "Shuang’er, it isn’t that your father doesn’t agree with your request, and though I also admire him, the competition has only just started. Let’s continue watching for now. If he continues to shine in the next rounds, I will recruit him."

"Deal!" Song Shuangshuang exclaimed as she looked down at Su Xuan below, "He’ll definitely be fine. After all, he’s the man I’ve chosen!"

Hearing this, her father nearly fell down the stairs in shock but managed to steady himself with a chair and asked, "Shuang’er, you’re not joking with your dad, right?"

"What’s the matter? I was just saying things. Look at how scared you got," Shuangshuang said, utterly nonchalant.

Song Tianbao breathed a sigh of relief, contentedly saying, "Well, he’s also the man I’ve set my sights on. He is sure to win."

...

Finally, Su Xuan advanced to the second round. Qiuyue, who was guarding outside, no longer dared to be reckless. She diligently drank warm water to prevent any sort of gas leaks, taking pride in not disturbing the exam and considering defecating and farting shameful.

Su Xuan was honored to have made it into this round, and even more importantly, he had gathered a group of fans.

"Hey, take it easy with the autographs, okay? One at a time, no need to crowd,"

Since the round hadn’t officially started yet, some fans strongly wanted to get their idol’s autograph. As a person with an overflowing kind heart, Su Xuan could only satisfy their wishes.

Finally, when Su Xuan’s hand was almost sore from signing, the round finally began.

Waiting left and right, the main invigilator never showed up. What did it mean if they didn’t show up? Could it be that the topic for this writing test was about not showing up?

Su Xuan thought deeply about it and shared his idea with the person next to him. Word of mouth spread from one to another, and soon everyone around Su Xuan started writing on the topic of not showing up, since the scheduled exam start time had already passed.

Upstairs in the main hall, the father-daughter duo were still speculating as to how many rounds Su Xuan would make it through, ultimately agreeing that he would only get through the cultural field and stand no chance in the martial arts arena.

Why say this?

It was because they knew from their own experience that prolonged interaction and communication outside could only lead to cultural stagnation. It was natural to have weaknesses, but the martial arts arena was a place of real physical confrontation, and what could a city boy with soft skin know? He might look good, but that didn’t mean he could take a hit.

"Dad, it would be a pity if such a handsome guy got beaten to death. Why don’t we keep him for me?"

"Shuang’er, stop it. Our Song Family doesn’t need cowards. We might not be born standing, but we will stand tall in death!"

"Dad, what does that mean?"

"Ahem, I just read that in a book, I don’t really understand what it means yet."

"Daddy, don’t read those dubious books anymore. The Journey to the West that mom left is quite good. The negative example of Zhu Bajie in it, failing to do a good job and getting taken by Monk Tang to the Western Heaven."

"Shuang’er, how can you talk about your dad like that? I was a cut above Zhu Bajie in my youth."

...

The two of them bantered back and forth.

Suddenly, Song Shuangshuang exclaimed, "Dad, you’ve forgotten that you’re the chief examiner for this session! Why aren’t you overseeing the examination?"

If it weren’t for Shuang’er’s quick reflexes, Song Tianbao nearly would have smashed his head against the wall.

"Don’t stop me, just let me smash my head and be done with it. How could I forget something so important?"

As it turned out, Song Tianbao was the chief examiner for this session, and the examination had already begun. With the pseudo-questions provided by Su Xuan, countless candidates dug deep into "not coming," employing their own unique skills. They produced creative and brilliantly written pieces that were nothing short of perfect.

But then, the great Family Head Song Tianbao arrived!

"Dear candidates, I’ve missed you so much!"

The candidates were perplexed, thinking that it was time to collect the papers. They checked to make sure their names were written correctly, and some wrote frantically, just a bit more, just a tiny bit more, almost there, oh yeah!

Done writing!

"Chief examiner, here’s my answer sheet. I know you’ll definitely give me high marks, and of course, I won’t refuse them," someone said ingratiatingly, handing in their paper.

Wang Tianbao looked at it and saw it was filled with words. Truly a sign of extreme diligence. A high score? This person deserved the Song Family’s Annual Best Inspirational Award.

Then, Song Tianbao said with satisfaction, "Good, not bad, just in time, we’re out of toilet paper in the Song Family’s latrines!"

The candidate was so angry he could have died on the spot.

While everyone was sharing the national grief, suddenly, snoring sounds wafted through the air.

"Who dares to snore here, to still sleep during the exam, what a nerve," someone said.

"What’s so surprising about that? Didn’t you forget about the first round, when we had the silent recitation of the Three Character Classic? More than ten people were asleep then, this is just one."

"Hmm, daring to sleep here means he probably knows he doesn’t have the skills and is afraid of embarrassing himself. So instead, he finds an excuse to get himself thrown out by pretending to sleep."

...

A crowd erupted into discussion.

"Tell me, why did you sleep?"

Song Tianbao called Su Xuan to stand up and asked loudly.

"If ’you won’t come,’ why can’t I sleep? Isn’t it better to be well-rested for the exam?" Su Xuan responded with a strong attitude.

Song Tianbao thought about Su Xuan’s words and found them reasonable. The teacher not coming meant sleeping didn’t interfere with the exam; being well-rested was indeed a sensible approach.

"Now, let’s give Su Xuan a round of warm applause; he makes a lot of sense, clap clap clap!"

Song Tianbao led the applause, and nobody dared not to join in; they’d have to be seeking death to refuse.

Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap! The applause went on relentlessly, thunderous and deafening—a must for praise. freeωebnovēl.c૦m

Suddenly, that guy who’d just been "angered to death" on the ground got up and ran away!

"Alright, let’s start the second round of the cultural examination. The second round is..."

All candidates looked forward eagerly, wanting to know what the test would be.

Song Tianbao made wild gestures to the associate examiners, who finally caught on after being obtuse for quite a while and announced loudly, "The second round is a poetry challenge about object description."

"That’s right. Today’s test is on poetry challenges about object description. Of course, to save on paper, considering everyone knows our Song Family’s latrines are never short on paper, we will perform on the spot with verbal responses. I and the two associate examiners will judge. How does that sound to everyone?"

"Good!"

"Very good!"

"Extremely good!"

...

Su Xuan yawned. Damn it, who’d dare to disagree with the Family Head?

"Come, Zhang San, I’ll ask you a question first; compose a poem about a bird. It can be your own work or an existing one, anything goes."

"Alright then, I shall respectfully obey," Zhang San replied.

Zhang San’s movements were exaggerated; he clasped his head, looking between everyone’s crotches at their ’little birds.’ Was he looking for inspiration?

"Eh, I’ve got it, isn’t it just a bird? ’The ospreys call on the isle in the river, a man old in years needs a girl...’" Zhang San didn’t get to finish before Song Tianbao kicked him far away, shouting, "Zero points! Drag him away, next!"

The next candidate was Li Si, Zhang San’s good friend.

"Li Si, you compose a poem about a pot," Song Tianbao said, holding a teapot in his hand and taking a satisfying sip from its spout.