Naruto: Uchiha's Unserious Saga-Chapter 310: Wood, Susanoo, and Explosions—Let’s Get Started!
Chapter 310 - 310: Wood, Susanoo, and Explosions—Let’s Get Started!
"Top Transformed Buddha!"
With thunderous applause, Hashirama summoned countless wooden hands that attacked Madara.
[Swish!]
In response, Madara looked at him with disdain, the Susanoo unsheathed his sword and swung it down with force, cutting all the palms in two.
A massive wooden dragon roared as it surged toward Madara.
[Slash!]
Madara didn't even flinch. Standing his ground, he swung his sword in a single, precise motion, slicing the dragon clean in half.
Yet, just as he finished his strike, another wooden dragon erupted from beneath him, sinking its fangs into his leg before flipping him over.
Madara let out a hearty laugh. "Hashirama, I see you've recovered well!"
Locking eyes with his old rival, he grinned. "Now this is more like it! If you were weak, it wouldn't be any fun. Come on! Let's keep dancing!"
With that, the Susanoo charged at Hashirama.
Hashirama clenched his fists as he channeled Senjutsu chakra into his Wood Golem.
The wooden titan roared as it threw a massive punch at Susanoo.
Susanoo, in turn, raised its blade and met the strike head-on.
[BOOOOM!]
The impact was so tremendous it felt as if the entire shinobi world was shaking.
...
"Move quickly!"
At that moment, Shirayu was leading the shinobi forces.
Most of the high-ranking fighters were engaged in battle, so the army needed a capable leader.
This leader had to be both fiercely loyal to Funan and strong enough to command respect.
As Funan's woman, Shirayu was the perfect choice.
As for her strength—
Her Sharingan gleamed with an intricate lightning-shaped pattern.
With sharp precision, she ordered the troops to flank the enemy and attack the White Zetsu forces.
Once the White Zetsu were eliminated, they could move on to assist Fugaku, Shisui, or any of the other key fighters.
As for White Zetsu's ability to absorb chakra and shapeshift into those it touched—Shirayu wasn't concerned in the slightest.
She had ensured that none of them could even get close.
She and her forces would eliminate them from a distance. If they couldn't absorb chakra, they couldn't transform.
On top of that, every shinobi in the alliance carried dozens of explosive tags.
Did White Zetsu? No? Then you're not one of us.
As for Funan's order to collect White Zetsu corpses, Shirayu found it completely reasonable. For a researcher, those bodies were an invaluable resource.
And so, the relentless bombardment began.
Any White Zetsu that came too close was immediately blown to pieces.
Some tried to burrow underground for a sneak attack, but unfortunately for them, the shinobi alliance had plenty of Earth Release users.
Did they really think sneaking up would be that easy?
On top of that, Shirayu had arranged the troops in strategic formations.
Each squad was spaced apart just enough to throw explosive tags in coordinated waves.
The first squad would launch their attacks, then retreat to the side as the next wave stepped in, slowly advancing with each cycle.
During this process, anyone acting suspiciously would be called out.
Disobey orders twice? Then prepare to be obliterated by a rain of explosive tags.
...
"Sigh... Mount Myoboku has always been peaceful, and now a Tailed Beast shows up."
"And not just any—the Nine-Tails."
"I'm too old for this. And now I have to fight again?"
"What, does someone think I've lived too long and want me dead?"
Fukasaku was not happy.
Shima, noticing his irritation, sighed. "Oh, come on, old man. Quit complaining. Think about it—wasn't it worse last time when Ryuchi Cave attacked? That battle was even more intense. Even the Great Toad Sage and the White Snake Sage ended up fighting each other."
Fukasaku: "..."
"ROOOAAARRR!"
At that moment, the Nine-Tails let out a deafening roar. Its chakra surged, growing even stronger. A fifth tail sprouted behind it. Its cold, piercing eyes sent a chill straight to the soul.
"Boss, we can't wait any longer!" Jiraiya said urgently. "That thing's getting stronger by the second—we have to act before—"
Before he could finish, Jiraiya froze.
Because in the blink of an eye, all of the Nine-Tails' power suddenly withdrew.
Naruto collapsed, unconscious.
Just like that.
One second, the sky was splitting, the ground was trembling—
The next?
Nothing.
Everyone—human and toads alike—stood frozen, eyes wide in disbelief.
Fukasaku slowly turned to Jiraiya. "So... what was that about acting before it's too late?"
Jiraiya: "...Mount Myoboku has always been peaceful. And will remain peaceful."
Fukasaku: "..."
Without wasting another second, the three of them rushed to Naruto's side, only to find that he—like Sasuke—was completely unconscious. Physically, though, he seemed fine. His breathing was steady.
Even the areas damaged by the Nine-Tails' chakra were healing, albeit slowly.
"What... what the hell just happened?"
Fukasaku was dumbfounded.
Just moments ago, the Jinchuriki was losing control. He was about to explode.
And now? Was he fine?
Was this some kind of joke?
Jiraiya fell silent for a moment, then said, "Boss, maybe we should ask the Great Toad Sage?"
"But—"
"Just ask," Shima insisted. "You know what this kid means to Jiraiya. Worst case, the Sage ignores you, like he did with Sasuke."
"...Fine."
Fukasaku summoned a toad, hoisted Naruto onto its back, and made his way toward the Great Toad Sage's chambers.
He knocked. Then again. And again.
Finally, after explaining that this time, the visit was on behalf of Jiraiya's student—The Great Toad Sage opened the doors.
Jiraiya and Shima both exhaled in relief.
As long as he was willing to see them, that was a good sign.
And then—Their relief shattered.
Because the toad carrying Naruto was thrown right back out. Naruto landed on top of it.
As for Fukasaku?
He was kicked out. Literally.
Face-first into the ground. He even bounced.
...What the hell just happened?
Jiraiya and Shima stared at each other, completely lost.
"Boss!"
"Old man!"
They ran over.
Fukasaku groaned. "Don't ask."
Jiraiya frowned. "He didn't say anything?"
"Say anything?!" Fukasaku gritted his teeth. "He nearly beat the crap out of me!"
"...Then we wait," Jiraiya sighed. "Naruto's fine physically. There's nothing more we can do except wait for him and Sasuke to wake up. I should head back, too. Probably best to bring Tsunade in to take a look."
"Alright."
...
[BOOM!]
With one final explosion, the Ten-Tails' husk went flying—blown away by a single punch.
"Haah... haah..."
Funan panted heavily, sneering. "Come on, bastard. Get up. We're going all night. First one to back down is a goddamn coward!"
The face of the Ten-Tails' husk was completely unrecognizable.
Funan had one rule when beating someone up—always go for the face.
The Ten-Tails' husk was already ugly to begin with. Now? It didn't even have a face anymore.
Obito's expression darkened as he surveyed the battlefield. His allies were down. The Konoha forces were closing in.
He let out a quiet sigh.
No choice.
Another failure.
Even after gathering so much power, he was still defeated—so easily.
Was it really impossible to beat Uchiha Funan?
"Retreat!"
Obito's voice was calm as he gave the order.
Countless White Zetsu burrowed into the ground.
Probably scared out of their minds. The second they heard the command, they bolted.
The remaining monsters under Hiruko left a few behind to stall the enemy, but the rest took off as well.
The Edo Tensei reanimated shinobi? They were the easiest to deal with.
With a single hand seal, Orochimaru summoned several coffins, sealing the reanimated shinobi inside. One by one, they sank into the earth, disappearing from the battlefield.
Obito formed a hand seal of his own, and the Ten-Tails' husk vanished with him.
The battle was over.
...
"Have you made up your mind, Brother Tobi?"
Funan smirked as he watched Obito leave.
The next fight would be the last.
Get ready. If you lose again, Brother Tobi, it's time for you to step down.
Uchiha Madara takes the stage.
Then you're out, and Kaguya steps in. ƒreewebɳovel.com
Once Kaguya's down, the game is over.
Funan gazed into the distance, his expression unreadable.
If it were really that simple, would he have dragged things out this long?
He could've cleared the game ages ago.
Uchiha Madara?
Heh. If he really wanted him dead, it wouldn't be that hard.
Funan had detailed info on Madara. If he wanted to take him down, he could.
The real problem was the bigger boss lurking in the shadows.
The Sage of Six Paths.
Otsutsuki Hagoromo.
In the original story, the guy never even showed up in person, yet he managed to seal away his own mother.
The true mastermind.
Hiding out in the Pure Land, claiming he was dead.
Yeah, sure.
Old man, who do you think you're fooling?
His two sons got to reincarnate over and over, and yet he's been hanging out as a soul in the Pure Land for thousands of years?
Come on.
No wonder Naruto was full of so many filial sons—it all started with you!
How many years have you been scheming against your own mother?
Turns out, the biggest 'devoted son' was you all along!
...
"Hokage-sama!"
The higher-ups of Konoha approached Funan.
He glanced at them, pausing briefly on Kakashi.
Kakashi looked dazed, completely lost.
Ah.
The kid was really out of it.
Too bad Funan didn't have Naruto's Talk-no-Jutsu.
Maybe he'd swing by Mount Myoboku later, drag Naruto out, let him talk Kakashi's ears off for a bit, then toss him back in.
At this point, that was about the only thing Naruto was good for.
Funan turned back to the others.
"Everyone, we may have won this battle, but you all know—the enemy's main force is still out there. We have even tougher fights ahead."
"What's there to be afraid of?"
Might Guy grinned. "As long as Hokage-sama is here, we'll win every time!"
Good lord.
A few people gave Guy a weird look.
Who would've thought this thick-browed, straight-laced guy would be such a suck-up?
Tsk.
The crowd collectively clicked their tongues, then immediately drowned Funan in a tidal wave of praise.
Funan stroked his chin, looking pleased.
"Enough!"
Senju Tobirama finally snapped.
He shot a sharp glare at Funan. "Have you forgotten something? Damn it, where's my brother?!"
Just look at Konoha now.
A bunch of shameless bootlickers!
Damn it, back when he was in charge, he made plenty of contributions! He had great abilities!
So why the hell didn't he have people like this around him?!
No, there was one!
The monkey!
Tobirama suddenly understood.
No wonder he became Hokage.
It wasn't because he was exceptionally talented—it was just that everyone else made him look better by comparison.
Uchiha Kagami? Couldn't even get a single word out.
Shimura Danzo? Always brooding, always looking like someone owed him money.
Koharu and Homura...
Who?
What did they even look like? Well, he'd probably recognize them if he saw them.
Akimichi Torifu? A total disaster.
Only the monkey stood out!
No wonder he became Hokage. Standing here now, looking at it from an outsider's perspective, Tobirama realized something wasn't right.
Back then, he had also...
No, that was different. Back then, there was no suitable successor!
Tobirama silently justified himself.
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