The Amusing Adventures of a Directionally Challenged Dad and Daughter-Chapter 153

Old Gu Six pretended not to hear as he busied himself fleecing his own father.

"Old man, spare me some of your merits."

[Not a chance. Go earn your own.]

"Just lend me some for now. I’ll pay you back once I’ve earned enough."

[When have you ever paid me back? All of you just keep milking me dry, huh?]

"If you don’t give me any, I’ll tell my daughter who you really are. Let her see how stingy you are. Don’t expect her to play with you when we go back."

[...Fine, fine, take it!] Two ungrateful brats.

The nearly plucked-bald old man decided that after delivering the goods to Chang'an, he’d never show his face again.

Old Gu Six gleefully accepted the merits gifted by his dear father. Now he wouldn’t have to worry about falling into merit debt—finally, he’d succeeded in mooching off his elders.

As he left, the old man suddenly realized: Had his grown son regained his memories? Had he just walked right into a trap?

Couldn’t he have dropped a hint? At least then he could’ve made an emergency escape.

Father and daughter had both fleeced what they wanted, satisfied as cats sunbathing on their backs, lazily basking in the late autumn sun in the courtyard.

By evening, they moved the stove into the yard to cook hotpot.

The setting sun and twilight hues painted the sky, a small courtyard, four lazy wolves, and red maple leaves swirling down with the autumn breeze, drifting into the yard.

(10,000 words of scene descriptions omitted.)

…………

For four years, the father-daughter pair had quietly holed up in these mountains without venturing out—though one person visited frequently.

That was Second Young Master Jiang, whom the duo had swindled out of quite a bit of silver over those years.

Of course, he also brought them plenty of news from the outside world.

Though a regular guest, Second Jiang had never once stepped past the valley gates in those four years. They never invited him in, and he never asked to visit for tea.

They often met by the shore, where their transactions also took place.

The father and daughter taught him the joys of beachcombing, and every time he visited, he’d have his ever-present guard carry a bucket. Four years in, he still hadn’t tired of the game.

His residence was built deep in the town’s interior—the largest estate there—effectively blocking outsiders from entering the mountains.

If the father and daughter wanted to leave, they’d have to take a detour—or cut through Second Jiang’s house.

Previously, it took Second Jiang four or five days to travel from the outskirts into the mountains. Now that he lived deeper in, he could make the trip in a single day.

Second Jiang appeared refined and dignified, but his personality was as shameless as Old Gu Six’s.

He talked incessantly, often airing the Jiang family’s dirty laundry—like now, as he animatedly recounted how many cuckold’s horns his father wore.

"Tsk tsk, Chang'an, you wouldn’t believe it. My father has seven sons, but only my eldest brother and I are his real offspring. My mother’s the only one who never cuckolded him."

What he didn’t tell Chang'an was that those horns were all carefully placed by him and his brother.

The family fortune was limited—it should go only to him and his brother. Yet their father had the audacity to want to share it with his illegitimate children. Half the Jiang wealth belonged to their mother. How dare he touch her share?

Second Jiang’s eyes flashed with scorn. If not for his mother’s mercy, those bastards and their mothers would’ve long since fed the worms.

Turning them into fatherless strays was him and his brother being merciful.

Chang'an and Old Gu Six listened quietly to his gossip. Seeing Second Jiang’s excitement, Old Gu Six itched to kill his mood by exposing his secrets.

The moment his eyes gleamed, Chang'an knew her father was about to stir trouble. She quickly pulled him back—with so few merits left, one wrong word could wipe out his last three points.

Old Gu Six regretfully swallowed his words. Father and daughter clapped and fake-smiled to humor him.

Second Jiang crouched closer and whispered, "Want to hear the latest news?"

Chang'an played along, whispering back, "What news?"

"About the new emperor."

The Fifth Prince had unified the realm a year prior, establishing the dynasty 'Ji'—named after the imperial surname—with the era name 'Yong An,' symbolizing eternal peace and prosperity.

Seeing their lack of interest, Second Jiang scratched his head, puzzled. The entire outside world was buzzing about Emperor Yong An—why were these two so indifferent?

Then again, these two were always eccentric. Maybe imperial gossip just wasn’t their thing.

But that didn’t stop him. "Rumor has it the new emperor’s been too busy with state affairs to select consorts. The court officials nag him daily about producing an heir. His response? 'The nation is in ruins, and governance demands my full attention. Yet my ministers push me toward debauchery—what ulterior motives lurk here?'"

"He even executed a few of the most vocal critics. My guess? He used it as an excuse to purge the court. After the executions, not a single minister dared raise the issue again."

"Just as they thought to wait a couple more years, the Divine Physician marched into court with his apprentice, demanding the emperor honor his promises."

"The physician claimed the emperor owed him three favors—now was the time to repay them. His price? Making his apprentice the empress."

"Preposterous! I’ve seen that apprentice. No manners, average looks, mediocre skills—any noble daughter in the capital outshines her a hundredfold."

"She’s not even fit to be a concubine, let alone empress! The empress is the nation’s mother, a model for all. How could some random jianghu girl qualify? What message would that send to the noble clans and ministers’ daughters?"

Chang'an glanced at him. His indignation made it seem like someone was forcing him to marry the physician’s apprentice.

Coolly, she remarked, "If the emperor’s competent, he’d never agree. Unless they’re truly in love—but that’s their business, no one else’s."

Second Jiang nodded vigorously. "Exactly! He refused, of course. Though he did grant her a princess title and some jewelry. The physician’s two senior disciples got positions in the Imperial Hospital."

Now the Divine Physician was spreading rumors everywhere—calling the emperor faithless, oath-breaking, a betrayer of his apprentice. Trying to pressure him with public opinion.

But the young emperor, fresh from unifying the realm, knew his hold on the people was still tenuous. Yet he also knew: A ruler is still a ruler.

While the emperor ignored the physician’s antics, the noble clans and high ministers wouldn’t tolerate it. This man was threatening their interests—they wouldn’t let him run amok.

Naturally, they taught him a lesson. Once, twice—until he learned his place. They feared no physician, no matter how skilled. With wealth and power, could they not find other capable doctors?

If no one truly matched his skill, so be it. All men die—so long as their descendants prospered, what was there to fear? Family legacy mattered more.

The Divine Physician was just a glorified doctor. Had fame made him forget himself? Dare meddle in their affairs? They’d remind him of his place.

No physician could grant immortality—why fear offending him? The world was vast; skilled healers weren’t scarce. He was just the most famous.

After ​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‍chattering about the emperor, Second Jiang moved on to the ministers.

"If we’re talking about rising stars at court, none shine brighter than General Yun. Young, handsome, the emperor’s trusted right hand, wielding immense power. The noble daughters vying for him could circle the capital thrice."

"The ones I admire most are His Majesty the Emperor, followed by General Yun, who captured Lingnan with just over a thousand soldiers—truly a military genius reborn."

Seeing the starry-eyed look on his face, Chang'an couldn't bring herself to tell him the amusing story of how General Yun once fell into a ditch while riding a pig.

"Your family is from Jiangnan, isn’t it? How do you know so much about the capital’s affairs?"