The Amusing Adventures of a Directionally Challenged Dad and Daughter-Chapter 97

He felt this line should sound more imposing coming from him.

Old Gu Six glanced at the toppled gate and the group of men lying on the ground, while his daughter stood there completely unharmed.

"Daughter, you could’ve opened the gate first before dealing with them. Then we wouldn’t have to fix it."

Chang'an: Could she admit the gate was too heavy and she couldn’t be bothered to open it?

Old Gu Six flicked his sleeve, and a sword slid out from within. Gripping it, he walked toward the four men struck down by lightning, delivering a final stab to each, sending them off to meet their ancestors.

He then stepped in front of Yao Jixin, who was kneeling, and kicked him onto his back.

Yao Jixin’s face was ghostly pale, drenched in cold sweat, convinced Old Gu Six meant to kill him.

The towering man stood silhouetted against the light, his features obscured, but his sharp, icy eyes were unmistakably clear. Hidden deep within them was an abyss, as if a monstrous beast lurked, ready to devour him whole.

For a moment, Yao Jixin couldn’t even muster the will to beg for mercy, simply staring dumbly at Old Gu Six.

"Drag these bodies far away and dispose of them. If you dare breathe a word of what happened today, not a single soul in your Yao Family—down to the ninth generation—will be left alive."

Old Gu Six had initially intended to have him dump the bodies nearby, but then he remembered his daughter liked picking up small fish and shrimp along the beach, so he ordered Yao Jixin to take them farther away.

Yao Jixin thought he misheard and cautiously confirmed, "You’re not killing me?"

"Only for now. If your tongue slips..."

He understood the unspoken threat and hurriedly replied, "I’ll keep my mouth shut. I’d rather die than talk. I can swear on it."

Old ​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​​‍Gu Six scoffed dismissively. Oaths were only good for fooling children.

Seeing his disbelief, Yao Jixin hastily explained, "Believe me, my oaths actually work."

The Yao Family valued honor above all else. A blood oath was akin to a curse—breaking it would bring real consequences.

He hadn’t mastered much, but this was one skill he’d learned, and it might just save his life.

Yao Jixin sliced his palm open and used the blood to draw a sigil on the ground, murmuring incantations under his breath.

Then, he declared, "I, Yao Jixin, thirty-first-generation direct-line eldest grandson of the Yao Family, hereby swear never to reveal what I’ve seen and heard today. This matter shall remain known only to me. If I disclose it to another, may I be struck by lightning, condemned to the endless hells, and reborn among beasts for eternity."

The moment he finished, dark clouds gathered overhead, thunder rumbling ominously for several long seconds before dissipating.

Chang'an had been planning to theatrically summon thunder after his oath for effect, but it seemed his vow already carried weight.

All this mystical nonsense looked rather impressive.

Old Gu Six glanced up at the now-clear sky, surprised. "So oaths actually work?"

"Good thing I never made any reckless vows when sweet-talking my wife back in the day. Could’ve been struck dumb long ago."

Since the man could keep secrets, there was no need for unnecessary bloodshed—not that one more death would’ve mattered.

"Get to work. Leave as soon as you’re done," Old Gu Six ordered, directing four wolves to help Yao Jixin haul the corpses onto his boat.

He added a warning, "Drop them far away. If I find out you dumped them nearby, I’ll hunt you down at the Yao Family."

"Yes, yes, of course," Yao Jixin nodded repeatedly, obedient as a child.

As they dragged the bodies to the shore, they spotted the Lin Family trio still huddled behind a rock, watching nervously.

Well, well.

Old Gu Six narrowed his eyes. To kill or not to kill?

Yao Jixin quickly intercepted him. "Wait, wait! I have a solution."

"What solution? Don’t tell me your oath trick works on others too," Old Gu Six sneered.

"It does," Yao Jixin affirmed. Though he was a talentless cultivator, what he had learned, he’d learned well.

He dropped the corpse he was dragging onto the deck and hurried toward the Lin Family.

Lin Fucheng, seeing him approach, tensed and shielded his parents, backing away.

They never should’ve left home today. What rotten luck.

"Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you," Yao Jixin reassured them from a distance.

Too far to hear clearly, Old Gu Six didn’t bother approaching. He wasn’t worried about Yao Jixin deceiving him anyway.

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Fifteen minutes later, another celestial disturbance darkened the sky. Once it passed, Yao Jixin returned, grinning foolishly.

Old Gu Six gave a perfunctory nod. "Not bad."

Yao Jixin scratched his head sheepishly. "This is the only thing I know how to do."

...

Watching the boat sail away, Old Gu Six cast a cool glance at the Lin Family before leaving with his wolves.

The Lin Family exchanged awkward smiles, silently vowing never to go beachcombing again. Too damn terrifying.

Chang'an, meanwhile, was wholly absorbed in tending her cornfield, leaving the mess at the gate for Old Gu Six to handle.

Old Gu Six shooed the wolves away and began cleaning up the bloodstains inside and outside, then repaired the damaged gate.

A thought struck him. "Daughter, we really didn’t need to be so violent. Weren’t they looking for someone in the mountains? We could’ve just let them search there. Then our gate wouldn’t be broken."

Chang'an paused mid-soil-tamping. Hadn’t she told them?

She was pretty sure she’d said the person wasn’t here.

But they hadn’t believed her, insisting she hand the girl over.

"...I’ll be more careful next time."

Meanwhile, deep in the mountains, the very person they were searching for waited day and night, hoping for rescue.

"Little Jian, you’re not fully recovered yet. Go rest inside. The people coming for you might’ve been delayed. I’ll call you when they arrive."

"Thank you, Elder Brother Zhang," the woman said weakly, her pale, delicate face the picture of fragile beauty—the kind that stirred men’s protective instincts.

Elder Brother Zhang blushed and grinned dopily, watching her return to the house before heading to the kitchen to stew the pheasant he and his brothers had hunted yesterday.

At noon, Granny Zhang returned from the fields to cook, only to find chicken feathers scattered across the yard and the bird long gone. She immediately knew her dim-witted eldest son had killed it to feed that sickly girl.

The family was breaking new land—they needed proper meals to keep their strength up! She’d rushed back to stew the pheasant, only to find her son, who’d claimed illness to skip work, had given their only meat away.

Granny Zhang was furious, but then she remembered her son was already twenty and still unmarried. Living in the mountains made finding a bride difficult.

Suppressing her anger, she reconsidered. The girl they’d taken in was sickly, but at least she was female.

The question was—would she even want her simpleton son? He might be slow, but he was kind.

Outside the mountains, after fixing the gate, Old Gu Six went to help Chang'an with the fields. Wondering why they were tilling more land when they’d already planted everything, his eyes gleamed with curiosity.

Chang'an knew exactly what he was thinking. "I have corn seeds. We’ll grow some for snacks."

It's mainly for you to gnaw on—you keep eating all day long, and she's tired of making snacks.

Once the corn is grown, she'll boil a few ears for Old Six's dad to chew on from morning till night.

She forgot to get some sugarcane seeds—that would've been the perfect snack for Old Six's dad too.