The Butcher of Gadobhra-Chapter 479: Even the Squirrels are Laughing

She nodded, "Definitely both."

Marceline was on her third Maple Fizz and trying to find a way to bring the discussion back around to Vern's training. Every attempt to ask Suzette about how some of the Contract Workers in town had gotten so strong, she found herself talking about herself or her soldiers, or their upcoming trip south. Except for the brief discussion of Sailor Moon and her preference for Sailor Mercury. She was giving out more information than she was getting, but if there were some secrets to training, she didn't care.

As the barmaid served food and beer to the dinner crowd, Marceline thought back to the information she'd gained from one of her scouts. Scouts was a better word than 'spy, ' and the Mercenary guild had scouts in every major city investigating rumors of wars, monster sightings, or major events.

"I confirmed this with a few sources when I asked about the big fight between Winter and the Emperor's forces. Duchess Claudia had a significant amount of help from the Baron of Gadobhra, and not just in logistics and supply. Some of the wounded who were sent home bragged they wouldn't be alive without the barrels of potions and magical food he had supplied. And the battle wouldn't have been won without the contingent of Contract Workers. Some wild claims about people fighting off ravening hordes of wolves and ice zombies with a hoe in each hand and no armor. They aren't trained warriors, but they hit hard and can take a lot of damage. Plus, they can lift wagons above their heads and dig tunnels in minutes. Rumors are starting to be told about Gadobhra. Depending on who you ask, the Baron is either a Warlock conspiring with dark powers to enslave the North or one of the few Nobles who take their oaths seriously to protect the people."

"And interesting news out of Wolfsburg, right before the big battle. They're saying one of the Baron's Butchers came to town, a giant of a man who knocked down a row of buildings and dug out a cabal of Winter Wizards trying to kill the Duchess. Mostly true, from what I can see. There are several bards doing walking tours of the city, pointing out where the first battle took place, the piles of rubble, and the half-melted tower where he cornered the Wizards. It's a very popular tour right now. The last stop is a sausage shop with the Duchess's Commendation for Service displayed. That's a big deal in the city and means you can tell tax collectors to sod off. Good sausage, too."

She looked to where the Barmaid was putting a big platter of lunch in front of the local Butcher. He was certainly big but hardly a giant. Lots of players were as big as he was, especially barbarians and half-ogres. She couldn't see his level, just a lot of information about all the quests he could offer and some backstory. Maybe he was an NPC and not one of the Contract Workers? Looking at the Barmaid, she had the same problem. But remembering their conversation, the Barmaid had never said she was one of the workers, only that she knew some.

She waited for the Barmaid to return and begin her endless task of polishing glasses and wiping the bar, a job no bartender ever seemed to finish. "Look, I'll be blunt here, but I could use some help, and I'm willing to pay back favors."

Suzette smiled, "Oh, no need for favors, but a few coppers for a tip always makes me happy. Can I get you another Fizzy Maple?"

"No, I need help with Vernon Throckmorton, Unca Varn, the old guy I have to train."

There was a low grumble from the Butcher, and Suzette quit smiling, "Sorry, I don't like Uncle Vern, and neither does Ozzy. He's a selfish old bastard who doesn't care about anyone but himself. I know you're hinting about ways to get him some levels, but he's not a nice person. But don't worry, if he paid you to help him get better, I know it's your job, and I won't hold it against you. I don't know why he's back here in Sedgewick, but the faster he's gone, the better."

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Marceline looked from the glowering Butcher to the scowling Barmaid, not knowing which one was more unhappy and feeling a little nervous being pinned between the two of them. "That's just it. The faster I get him trained, the faster your Baron ships him back down south and away from here. And it would be doing your Baron a favor."

"The Baron? But Mr. Vernon always says he's the boss!"

Marcy half smiled, remembering the meeting at ACME HQ, "Trust me, Baron William is in charge now. Vernon answers to him, or he's out of ACME. Vernon Brockmeyer is just a cog in the plan. But a cog I need to get in shape. I think you two might be helpful. I asked about the restrictions on Contract Workers, and there is no way the people in this town got so strong without cheating. Help me out, and I'll make it worth your while."

The Butcher stood up, "Oh, really? Baron Billy is the big boss now? That does put things in a different light. And explains why Vernon hasn't been running around and giving us orders like he used to. Is this mandatory training? And not something Vern is happy with?"

"Hell no, he got his nuts caved in and his head stomped by a rabbit yesterday."

Suzette looked at Ozzy. "You know, I'd pay good money to see old Uncle Vern get kicked around by some rabbits."

Ozzy nodded. "Highly entertaining. I remember when he was sending all of us to our deaths day after day, trying to break into Gadobhra. Watching him die over and over would be fun. How about we make a day of it? We can take some wine and beer, maybe some sausages and the smoked rabbit I've been making, and have a picnic while we watch. I'll grab a few things from the Butcher shop, and then we can head out. Be good for a laugh."

Marceline could tell something was up, but not sure what. Suzette looked at her without the half-dreamy expression she usually had. "We might be able to help out some. But this stays between us. Maybe we have some tricks, and maybe we know a few things to get around some restrictions. But we don't want every player finding out, or they'll be coming and begging us for help and posting our secrets on the data net. You can mention to the Baron that we are helping, but that's it."

"I can agree to that."

"And we want a contract. Official Mercenary guild contract. Penalties if you break your word, big ones."

Marceline paused at that. This woman was serious. "Fine, I'll write something up. Anything else?"

Suzette grinned evilly. "Yes, put in that pain and suffering on the part of Mr. Vernon is part of making him better, and he has suck it up. This isn't going to be pretty, and I don't want to have him taking it out on us. He's still a VP, and we're poor peasants living in a town that ACME controls."

That made the mercenary captain smile, "Oh, that's part of all training. I'm fine with that, and frankly, I have no sympathy for the guy."

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Suzette certainly had none. She was looking forward to some payback. "Just how pitiful is Vern? The only time he was about to fight, he turned tail and ran south, stabbing us in the back. And that wasn't the only time he twisted the knife."

"So bad it's hard to describe. He was an idiot and took default choices even when the System warned him against doing it that way. He used his real-world body for his stats and let the system pick his skills. He's got so many debuffs he can barely walk."

Suzette rolled her eyes, "Wow, and I thought Contract Workers had it bad. Have you thought of buffing him up with a few magical trinkets?"

"There are problems with that. He can't use a different weapon, isn't strong enough for any armor except heavy wool, and can't use a shield. I'm open to suggestions, but the type of stuff I'd need is rarely for sale."

Marcy eyed the magical items displayed behind the bar. A spear with extended throwing distance, a shield that offered 50 points of fire protection, and a set of plate mail leggings that increased your run speed. "You have some decent stuff on the wall, but not for Vern, and he's still level 0, so a lot of stuff he can't wear."

"My, he does sound as useless in combat as a worker. I have a few items I don't show off, too small and easily stolen. And maybe something even he could wear to protect himself, but dungeon loot can be costly. I've been accepting items from my customers to clear their bar tabs and then reselling them. And a few things come up from the dungeon below the tavern. But I've paid well for these items and need to recoup my costs."

Marcy could understand that she had the same problem. It wasn't cheap to run her mercenary company, and she wouldn't be getting much more than some free food and armor from the Baron until parts of the contract were finished. The first of which was Vern. "Show me something, and tell me how much."

The barmaid bent down and brought a small box from beneath the bar labeled Old Rotgun '57. Instead of bottles of dubious alcohol, she pulled two rings from the box and set them on the counter.

Untiring Rat Slayers Healthy Ring of Karma

+50 Health, +100 Stamina. The user takes double damage from all Ratkin.

Bloody Ring of Wulfen Carnage

Carved from the claw of a Dreadwulf, the ring imparts fury to the warrior who dons it, giving +20 damage to blows dealt in close combat. There is a cumulative 1% chance that any blow that draws blood forces the user into a Bestial Rage. This resets if the user is out of combat for an hour.

Barbarians' Loin Cloth of the Mammoth

As long as the user wears only fur boots, fur hats, and this item, they may add +15 to their Physical Mitigation as if they wore armor.

"Rings like these have some drawbacks, but still sell well for 100 gold pieces each. The first comes from the third level of the Lair of the Under Rodent, and the other from that horrid ghoul's dungeon in Gadobhra. I might have a few other items if you're interested. Buy the rings, and you can have the loincloth for free."

Marceline would later wonder how the conversation had gone from maple soda pop so quickly to buying magic items and cutting a deal. It seemed logical at the time. "Not sure I want to see Vern wearing that, but I'm desperate. I don't suppose you'd be willing to part with them until my contract with the Baron pays off. I'll be picking up a 1000 gold bonus once I get him to Level 6."

The Barmaid looked sad. "Oh, I wish I could, but I have bills to pay, and a tax collector was seen in town. The Emperor sends them out to gather the yearly tithe on dungeons and towns, and I'll need either money or magic items soon. I'm sure a hard-bitten mercenary understands the difficulty of making a loan. I don't suppose you have anything to barter for them if you don't have money?"

"I wish I did. I'm a mercenary commander. So, unless you need something guarded, troops trained, or some monster hunted down, it's hard to see how I'd barter my services."

The barmaid looked thoughtful. "We might be able to work something out. I know a few people who might want training from a soldierly person. But we're talking late at night, and what happens at the corral stays at the corral."

Marceline nodded her agreement. "I'm running out of time and out of options with Vern. My normal methods aren't going to be useful. There's nothing to motivate and not enough muscle to work with."

The Butcher came in the door. He went to the basement and came back a moment later. "Packed up some 'special training supplies'. But we need more information to work with. If Billy needs Vern for the plan, then we need to know the plan to maximize his usefulness. And we need access to his stats and skills."

"Fine, but secrecy cuts both ways. I don't want the Baron upset with me for giving out information."

Ozzy grinned, "Not a problem. We only want to give you the most help that we can. What do we care about what's going on down south?"