The Hero's Streaming Life with the Saintess-Chapter 37: Our Restaurant Is Open for Business... Probably?
I took my sweet time getting there.
After all, the more you prep, the more content you get out of it.
As expected, they were trying to block my departure with some real-time press conference, playing it off like diplomatic pressure.
They’d already canceled every flight from Korea to China.
Not just flights—every major port like Yantai, Shanghai, and Tianjin was locked down too.
“People really are naive.”
“Right? And we’re literally flying.”
Everyone knew Lyla and I could fly.
They just didn’t expect intercontinental air travel.
“Hero, look at this! The forums are blowing up with your name!”
[Post by: anon]
[Title: Building Demolition Just Made It to the Big Leagues lmao]
[Content: (Chinese press conference) You can literally see them panicking in real time, dude’s stuttering like CRAZY lmfao]
↳ They had their chance and pulled this shit?
↳ lmfaooo dumbasses 🤣🤣
↳ Alright, demolition time, let’s goooo~
↳ Isn’t this gonna cause drama later tho?
↳ He’s demolishing his own building. So what?
Some folks were worried, though.
[Post by: anon]
[Title: What about the people inside?]
[Content: Isn’t this dangerous if there are people still in the buildings?]
↳ Dumbass, Forbidden City’s closed on Mondays.
↳ Yeah but there’s still maintenance staff and stuff, right?
↳ Oh? That’s a fair point...
Don’t worry.
I’m not the kind of guy who charges in without thinking about that stuff.
“Lyla, you know what to do, right?”
“Of course.”
Even the President had stressed that part again and again.
No matter what happens, there can’t be a single civilian casualty.
“Hero, we’re flying over Beijing now.”
“Yeah? Then I guess it’s about time...”
I tossed a marble.
It transformed mid-air into a drone and hovered above us.
[zlSuperStrongHero: arrived]
[LOL it’s been a while since we saw him floating in the sky]
[So the Forbidden City is right underneath, huh?]
[Wait, is he gonna drop a meteor on it??]
“Nah, gotta do a proper opening before the content starts.”
Only scrubs rush their streams without a warm-up. You gotta tease it out just enough to get chat foaming at the mouth.
Lyla and I descended together.
Below us? A full military formation—soldiers and tanks lined up like some final boss dungeon.
[Hmmm, tanks in front of the Forbidden City... is this that reference?]
[Hey hey hey LMAOOO]
[Yo!!! That’s a banned phrase!!!]
I fiddled with my earring, pulled out my “Holy Sword”—which was really just a massive club—and grinned.
“Sup. Hero reporting in.”
That alone earned me some wild cheers from the soldiers.
["Cheers," lmao get the fuck outta here]
[I don’t speak Chinese but I definitely caught the “ni ma” in there 😂]
Barely took one step forward before they raised their rifles.
Then, one of them stepped out from the ranks, decked out in some ultra-shiny epaulettes.
“You are now illegally trespassing on Chinese territory!”
“What’d he say?”
“He’s saying we illegally crossed the border.”
“Turn back now and we won’t hold you responsible!”
“Oh? So if we leave, we’re cool?”
Typical.
You guys were always shameless.
So I figured I’d try being shameless for once too.
I started walking forward, lazily spinning my club—and they opened fire.
T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t!
All the bullets just bounced off me, no big deal.
Lyla, on the other hand, popped up her barrier and blocked everything like a goddess.
T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t!
“You didn’t shield me?”
“Oh, Hero, you don’t even get scratched when you’re shot. I, on the other hand, might have a wardrobe malfunction~”
Looks like they finally realized bullets weren’t doing shit, so now they were aiming tank cannons at us.
[Are they seriously aiming artillery at a person??]
[Bro... is that even a person?]
[One two three four LMAO]
[Like, who the hell thinks launching a shell downtown is a good idea??]
Right. And when all hell breaks loose, guess who’s getting blamed?
[What is this guy doing lol]
[Wait is that a batting stance???]
[WTF HAHAHA]
[This man is unhinged]
“Lyla, mind making sure this one doesn’t blow?”
BOOOOOOOM!!!
A thunderous roar echoed across the sky as a shell tore through the air toward me.
I timed it perfectly and—
‘Let’s make sure it doesn’t break...!’
CRACK!!!
Swung my club and sent that thing flying up into the heavens.
I made sure not to put too much force in it, so Lyla’s barrier wouldn’t shatter.
KA-BOOOOOM!!!
The shell exploded midair in this blazing sunset of a fireball.
Like...
“Damn. Home run.”
[Home runnnnn lmfao]
[This dude’s playing baseball with tank rounds]
As I watched the big-ass firework explode, I saw multiple tank barrels ignite at once.
Bang! Crack! Boom!
I swatted them all down.
“Alright, this is gonna go on forever at this rate.”
[You gonna start smashing tanks next??]
I slung my club over my shoulder and took a second to think.
“Lyla, mind freezing them in place a bit?”
“Oh, that’s easy.”
Lyla chanted something, and orbs of glowing light appeared behind her.
The orbs started orbiting her like some divine halo, then launched straight at the tanks.
Ssssssshhh...!
The moment they grazed the barrels, the tips melted like popsicles in the sun.
Didn’t matter how shocked they were—we just walked right past them.
“Well, they did try to fire on people, so... fix it yourselves.”
“Pardon us~”
Saying that, I walked forward with Lyla at my side, straight through their formation.
Once we got past the outer area, a massive courtyard opened up in front of us.
“Whoa. This place is huge.”
“Right?”
“Hold up.”
BOOM!
I smashed the main gate behind us. No need to let anyone tail us in and cause problems.
Some random dude’s portrait also happened to get wrecked in the process.
“Tell ’em to reprint the photo and stick it back up.”
[LOLLLLL]
[Does he even know who that was? 😂]
[Just smashed it like a boss lmao]
Then, while scouting for a good spot, I pulled a small banner out from my pocket.
[??? What’s that?]
[Why the hell does he have a banner lol]
[Wait... is he gonna mark his territory or something??]
I didn’t answer chat. Just grabbed the edges and jammed the thing into the stone wall.
[“We’re Open for Business”?]
[This dude’s out of his goddamn mind lmaooooo]
[Forbidden City turned restaurant real quick 💀💀]
“Doesn’t matter how wrecked it gets. Still gotta do the essentials.”
As we stepped further in, a few guys—probably public security—were standing around with guns, trying to look intimidating.
“Maintenance crew on duty during holidays?”
Updat𝓮d from frёewebnoѵēl.com.
Lyla kindly asked them to leave.
Their faces drained of color and they ran off like their lives depended on it.
“What’d you say to freak them out like that?”
“I just told them you were an S-rank Hunter.”
...That’s it? That made them bolt?
Well, if Lyla says so, then sure.
“Oh, is this the building the emperor used to live in?”
[Yeah, that's the one]
[Tourists aren't even allowed in that section lol]
[Look at that thicc-ass throne 🪑🤣]
Still wearing my shoes, I walked right in.
Then casually plopped myself down on the oversized imperial throne like I owned the damn place.
“How do I look?”
[Acting like this at a historical site... dude’s an Ugly Korean for sure]
[Bet he’s the kind of guy who’d carve his name into coral reefs lol]
“Alright, enough screwing around. Time to start the demolition—”
And right then, I felt a weird shift in the mana outside.
A lot of people were approaching.
At least A-rank Hunters.
“Oh? You guys made it?”
["You made it" LMAO what is this, a hangout?]
[They look like they REALLY didn’t wanna come lol]
[That guy on the far right’s leg is literally shaking]
“What’s this? You show up 'cause you want to get wrecked?”
Their faces turned pale.
They were clearly dreading the fight they were about to be forced into.
“你怎么敢知道这是哪里!”
“你知道你现在在做什么吗?”
“What’re they saying?”
“Just spouting crap. Don’t worry about it.”
“Cool. In that case...”
BAAAAM!!!
I stood up and smashed the emperor’s throne—probably their ancestors’ prized furniture—into pieces with my club.
Cracked the floor too, while I was at it.
I gave my club a light °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° tap and scanned the crowd.
I wasn’t planning on hurting them—but if anyone made the first move, I was ready to break something.
From the look of them, though, their fighting spirit was already gone.
“You guys gonna fight? Or nah?”
Lyla translated for them, but they just stood there.
“Yeah. Didn’t think so. Not your fault.”
CRAAACK! BOOM!
I laid into the Forbidden City—wooden beams, marble flooring, roof supports. Everything in sight got demolished.
“Man, this is therapeutic.”
[Why are they just standing around staring lol]
[What’re they supposed to do? Pick a fight??]
[Even the Saintess is busted OP lmao]
While they just stood there gawking, I’d already reduced an entire building to its bare frame.
[Dude’s really gutting this place clean]
[Look at that. Just bones left.]
“Next up is... Taihe Hall? Zhonghe Hall? Which one should I smash first?”
[Just go for Taihe Hall, let’s gooo]
[Knock ’em all down one by one as you pass lol]
As we stepped out of the now-bare building, a new group was approaching from a distance.
They looked like S-rank Hunters, no doubt about it.
And right in the middle of them—Chen Lungwei.
“A mere Hunter from a small country dares to—!!!”
“I’ll crush this barbarian bastard’s pride right now!”
“Ohhh, so you guys actually wanna fight?”
Things were seconds away from exploding when Chen Lungwei suddenly stepped forward.
And then... he bowed his head politely.
“Great One... would you consider turning back...?”
