Villain Hiring: Help! Author Wants Me Dead-Chapter 125: Team A
Grandpa held the orb in his hands and threw it into the air.
The blackish blue ball started glowing with a weird golden shine as if it was preparing to drop a nuke instead of forming teams.
[Randomizing Participants...]
[Generating Balanced Teams Based on Skill, Potential, and Chaos Quotient…]
"…What the hell is a chaos quotient?" I muttered, confused.
'People like you, apparently,' Damien deadpanned, seemingly curious.
Everyone leaned forward as a bright blue screen lit up in front of them.
I ignored the strange reactions of everyone else and hoped mine had at least tolerable members.
[ Team A ]
1) Noah D. Romero
2) Seraphina Romero
3) Aurelia Romero
4) Dario Romero
5) Erza Romero
"..."
"…Erza?"
I blinked once.
Then twice.
The letters didn't change. No glitch. No system error. Nothing.
Wait—is it really The Bloodred Erza?
The one whose reputation in defeating enemies during the Battle of Villo Greek is at par with mine?
[Team A]
Seraphina Romero
Aurelia Romero
Dario Romero
Erza Romero
I stared at the list like it had personally offended me.
This couldn't be right.
This had to be a joke.
A slow shuffle of footsteps came from my right.
The first to show up, of course—was Dario, teleporting into the circle of our designated team zone...upside down.
He dropped onto the blue holographic tiles with a loud thump, groaning.
"I swear that one was supposed to land feet-first," he mumbled, brushing invisible dirt off his clothes. "Hey, Noah..."
"Dario," I said flatly, having no idea how to hold a conversation with this half skilled idiot.
Before he could respond, Seraphina walked up, arms crossed, and her hazel eyes scanning the two of us like she was already regretting it.
She looked at Dario.
Then me.
Then back to Dario.
"…No," she whispered.
"You will get used to it," I sighed, slapping my forehead.
Then Aurelia came next, her expression calm as ever, brown hair swaying like some anime heroine who hadn't yet realized she was surrounded by idiots.
She gave me a small nod.
"Noah."
"Aurelia." I nodded back.
'At least one normal person.' I thought.
"Looks like we're teammates," she said, her voice as smooth as honey.
"Let's hope we can win this without that teleporting mess fucking it up," The brown haired girl muttered under her breath, clearly eyeing Dario.
"I have feelings, you know," the said boy grumbled.
"Stuff them in your dimension," she shot back.
I rubbed my temples.
Alright. I could work with this. We were four members in, and the average sanity level was at least… passable.
Then the last one arrived.
And by "arrived," I mean landed like a meteor.
A shadow passed overhead all of us.
Something dropped straight from the sky and slammed down in the middle of our circle with a gust of wind and a thunderous boom.
Dust blew in all directions.
When it cleared, she stood there. All 5'10 of her, silver-black armor hugging her limbs, and a massive broadsword strapped across her back like it weighed nothing.
Her face was blank. Expression unreadable. Her crimson hair was tied in a single loose braid that swung behind her like a whip.
"…I didn't expect you to join the Supremacy games," I said to the expressionless girl I'd met in the early days of the great battle a few months back.
"Me neither." she replied.
"Erza?" Dario squeaked. "That Erza?"
"The berserker?" Seraphina muttered, as the only other boy in our group, Dario stepped back half an inch.
"Oh yeah," Aurelia said mildly. "I've heard the rumors."
Erza said nothing. She just looked at me, head tilted like she was mentally assessing how many bones she'd need to break to establish dominance.
I stood a little straighter, subconsciously.
"I don't bite," she said.
"Great," I replied. "Because I do."
Dario laughed. "Haha—wait, seriously?"
I took a breath and let it out slowly.
'Tch—You're making this too complicated, brat.' Damien said all of a sudden, continuing.
'Let's assess this situation.' He added.
'You: A Half-broken villain kid with a soul-eating system and trauma levels that should come with a health warning.
Seraphina: A girl who wears a Gods Divine Gift as a fucking choker.
Aurelia: Looks like she wouldn't mind killing someone halfway during sex with that charm ability complimenting that overly feminine figure of hers.
Dario: Teleporting disaster. Also possibly made of rubber.
Erza: Sword-swinging, emotionless monster. Could solo half the map. Might kill one of y'all
by accident, lmao—'
I stared at the blue tiles studded on the walls.
Gods above, this is my team?
We've got a rogue princess who cries when it gets dark.
A teleporting dumbass who lands upside-down more often than not.
A charm mage who looks like she's secretly judging us all.
And a walking nuke who doesn't even smile when dropping from the clouds.
What kind of cursed Pokémon evolution team is this?
I don't need a team.
I need a priest.
It looked like our team was pretty balanced but without a healer, it would be pretty hard fighting against the others.
Then again, the ability of a priest is too rare and even our house doesn't have many people like that.
Damien was giggling in my head. Giggling.
'You're the leader, by the way,' he said cheerfully. 'System auto-assigns based on soul strength. Congrats, boss.'
Great. So now I had to babysit this circus?
[Back to Reality]
"So," I said out loud, slowly rotating to face everyone, "we're Team A."
Seraphina crossed her arms. "Yeah, I can see that. A as in… accident waiting to happen."
Dario raised a hand. "I'd like to officially request a new team name. May I suggest: 'The Flaming Idols'?"
Erza blinked at him. "I don't care what we're called as long as we win."
Aurelia stepped between them all. "Let's not kill each other before the first match, yeah?"
I nodded at her.
Clearing my throat, I tried to take charge.
"Alright. Here's the deal. The System's made me the Captain due to having the highest soul power here, so I hope we can co operate together. And if anyone gets any funny ideas, I swear to—"
"I always have funny ideas," Dario muttered, breaking my flow.
"—I will personally yeet you into the simulation's mana barrier," I finished.
Erza smirked.
That was new.
Seraphina sighed like her whole life was a mistake.
Aurelia gave me a small, amused smile.
And Dario?
Dario teleported again. And appeared midair. Again.
We watched him fall.
He landed with another thump and a groan.
"Perfect," I muttered.
"This team's gonna kill me before the enemies even try."
***
