ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 102: Dinner with a Sword Spirit ( )

"Don’t let it run!!" Ridan shouted excitedly.

"I’m trying!!" Hazuki huffed, legs pounding against the forest floor as he chased the nimble, squealing boar that darted between trees like a shadow.

"If you don’t get it, I’m sure you’ll have to fast again," Ridan cackled from within the sword, thoroughly enjoying the show.

"No way! I’m going to eat meat tonight!!" Hazuki roared.

"YEAHHH!! That’s the spirit!! Now go chase that meal for us—I mean you!!" Ridan howled with laughter.

The boar squealed again and took a sharp turn.

"Oi!! Get back here you porky little bastard!! I already imagined grilling you!!!"

"You’re talking to dinner, you idiot!!" Ridan shouted, still laughing.

Hazuki lunged forward with all his strength, raising his sword high.

"Fooooooddd!" he howled like a madman, eyes blazing with hunger as he slashed down—

WHOOSH!

The sword sliced clean air. Again.

"YOU MISSED AGAIN!!!" Ridan screamed in disbelief.

"SHUT UP!!!" Hazuki barked back, still mid-chase, his hair messy, shirt half-torn from branches, and pure, desperate hunger written all over his face.

"Oi food!! Don’t run!! Just give up already!!" he yelled as he kept swinging and slashing like a wild adventurer possessed by the spirit of starvation.

Hazuki leapt again, his grin completely manic this time, teeth flashing like a mad wolf. "COME TO ME, BACONNNN!!!"

"Now Hazuki!! That boar is trapped!!" Ridan shouted excitedly.

"Yeahhh!! Now stay still and let me slash you!!" Hazuki howled, leaping forward with wild glee.

With a manic grin stretched across his face, Hazuki swung his sword down in a wide arc. "Fooooood!!!"

Slash!

A squeal, a thud, and the boar lay still.

That night...

Hazuki groaned with joy, biting into a thick chunk of roasted boar meat. Grease dripped from his chin as he chewed happily, sitting by the small campfire.

"Damn... if only we had some ale... this would be perfect."

Ridan remained silent inside the sword, faintly glowing as he hovered beside the fire.

Hazuki glanced at it, raising a brow. "Oi, what’s with the mood killer? You jealous or something?"

Ridan sighed dramatically. "If only... I could eat..."

Hazuki blinked. Then, grinning, he grabbed a slice of meat, placed it on a leaf, and set it down carefully in front of the sword. "Here. Eat."

"...Like hell I can," Ridan muttered.

"Oh c’mon, just try it. Touch it with your spirit or aura or whatever ghost smoke you got."

Ridan hesitated, then let a faint bluish aura slip out from the sword.

The glowing, faintly blue aura of Ridan’s spirit wavered out from the sword’s hilt like mist, stretching toward the sizzling roast meat on the leaf.

The tip of the aura brushed the meat.

"Ohhh!!" Hazuki leaned in, excited. "You touching it? Does it work??"

The meat trembled slightly—just a nudge.

Then... a tiny piece floated and poof, vanished into glowing particles.

Ridan went silent for a moment.

Then, ridan said, "I... I can taste it."

Hazuki leaned closer. "No way. Seriously?"

"T-THE JUICE!! THE FLAVOR!! I—I REMEMBER THIS!!" Ridan howled from the sword, his aura swirling wildly.

"Okay okay! Chill! You’ll wake up a monster or something!!"

"MEATTTTT!! SWEET JUICY MEAAATTT!!"

"Stop moaning like that! It’s creepy!!"

"Oi, give me more!" Ridan demanded like a spoiled child.

"Hah!? Can’t you see I’m busy here!?" Hazuki snapped, holding a juicy chunk of meat mid-bite. "This is my reward!"

"Meat! Meat! Meat!!" Ridan chanted inside the sword like a deranged festival drummer.

"OI!! Stop shouting!!" Hazuki scolded, glancing around nervously.

"Hmm? It’s not like anyone can hear my voice," Ridan replied coolly.

Hazuki froze. "..."

"...For real?"

"Yeah. Only you can hear my voice."

"..."

Hazuki’s expression darkened with realization. "So you’re saying... I’m the only one who can talk to you?"

"Yeah... sort of."

Hazuki dropped his meat. "If anyone saw that... they’ll think I’ve lost it! Talking to myself! Talking to a sword!"

Ridan chuckled. "Huh? But... didn’t they already call you a crazy guy before?"

Hazuki glared at the sword.

"...How do you know that?"

"Ahhh well..." Ridan’s voice trailed off, sheepishly. "I might’ve, you know... peeked into your memory when you passed out that time."

"You WHAT!?"

"Hey! It was just a little surface-level scan! Promise!"

"You memory-peeping pervert!!"

"That’s unfair! I only peeked into the parts where people mocked you for being a weirdo!"

"Oh, wow, thanks! I feel so validated now!!"

Ridan laughed. "C’mon, don’t be like that. I know all your embarrassing moments now—we’re basically brothers."

"Since when did we become brothers!!" Hazuki snapped, veins practically popping on his forehead. "You and me are just a master and a sword! Got that!?"

"Hah! I’m an ancient spirit, remember? So clearly, I should be the master and you the sla—I mean, partner! Yeah, partner!"

Hazuki narrowed his eyes. "Oh, so now you’re changing your words?"

"Slip of the tongue! I meant partner! Totally equal!"

"Equal my ass..."

"Hey! I’m the one giving directions here!"

"You lied about the direction!!"

Ridan coughed dramatically. "Minor details."

Hazuki groaned and rubbed his temple. "If you weren’t sealed in my sword, I’d smack your face."

"You can try. But who’d be the crazy guy slapping the air while yelling at it in public?"

"...Damn it."

After the good meal.

Burp! Hazuki patted his stomach. "Man! That was a nice meal."

"Yeah! Totally agree," Ridan chimed in from the sword, sounding equally satisfied—despite not even having a digestive system.

Hazuki leaned back against a tree. "So... what now?"

"Why ask me?" Ridan replied lazily. "It’s night. Humans like you are supposed to sleep, right?"

"Yeah, but..." Hazuki hesitated, glancing around the dim forest.

"...Hmm?"

"They say monsters get more active at night."

Ridan let out a dramatic sigh. "And? Have you ever encountered a monster during your late-night wanderings?"

Hazuki’s eyes narrowed. "H-How do you know I’ve wandered at night!?"

"Err..."

"Oi!"

"Well..." Ridan chuckled sheepishly. "That’s something I found out when you were fainted before. Y’know, when I took a peek at your memories."

Hazuki’s eyebrow twitched. "Took a peek, huh?"

"And you totally called someone a cutting board. Brutal, man. Just brutal."

Hazuki turned beet red. "Not my fault, okay!!!"

Ridan snickered. "Sure, sure. But her reaction though? Legendary."

"Haaa... I really wanna sleep," Hazuki mumbled, lying on his side and using his bag as a pillow. "But I also don’t wanna die while sleeping. Y’know, ambushed by some monster or something."

"Huh?" Ridan replied with confidence. "You got me here, buddy! I’m an ancient spirit—chasing away monsters is child’s play."

"Oh?" Hazuki raised an eyebrow. "And how exactly do you plan on doing that?"

Ridan let out a smug chuckle. "Watch and be amazed."

A low hum resonated from the sword as a dark aura began to seep out, creeping into the trees and brushing against the cold night air. It slithered across the forest floor like shadows given life.

Hazuki sat up, slightly alarmed. "Oi... what the hell is that?"

"Just a little something to let the local wildlife know who’s boss," Ridan said smugly.

Suddenly, loud, bone-chilling screeches echoed from deep within the forest—monsters yelping in fear and stampeding away through the trees.

Hazuki’s eyes widened. "Wha—!?"

Ridan snickered. "See? Told you. Works every time."

Hazuki plopped back down. "Whatever. As long as nothing tries to bite my face off in the middle of the night..."

"Sweet dreams, Buddy."

"Shut up and keep your creepy aura on alert."

( End of Chapter )