ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 148: Tall Tales and Tiny Spirits ( )

Hazuki sat on the back of the carriage, feeling the gentle creak of the wooden frame beneath him. As the carriage started rolling, he stretched his legs out, letting the warm afternoon breeze brush against his face.

Slowly, he leaned back, hands tucked behind his head, and lay down across the rough boards. The road bumps rocked the carriage just enough to make it feel like a lazy hammock.

Floating a short distance above, Ridan hovered as usual—small, misty, and smug. The little cloudy spirit orbited Lazily over Hazuki like a mischievous moon.

"Yo, Ridan," Hazuki said, cracking one eye open.

"Huh?"

Ridan tilted slightly, his cloud body bobbing with the motion of the carriage.

"Not tired floating like that all day?"

Ridan snorted.

"No. Besides, I’m using your mana to maintain this floating."

He spun once in a lazy loop for emphasis.

Hazuki chuckled dryly.

"Heh... sucker spirit."

"Shut up," Ridan snapped.

"Or the beastkins will think you’re a crazy guy talking to the air again."

Hazuki shrugged, still smiling with his eyes half-closed.

"Well, that’s true..."

He sighed contentedly.

"But it’s still annoying seeing you float like that when the carriage is moving."

He waved a lazy hand.

"I don’t mind if you float when we’re walking... but here? You’re ruining my scenery, man."

Ridan puffed out his cheeks like an offended balloon.

He hovered for a second longer, then let out a long, exaggerated sigh.

"Fine..."

With a soft little "plop," Ridan gently landed at the edge of the carriage bed—right near Hazuki’s legs.

Hazuki glanced over.

"Heh... good cloud."

"Screw you."

Ridan turned his back, folding invisible arms with a grumble.

The carriage continued to rumble down the dusty road, the two idiots lying in the sun like two lazy cats—one flesh, one mist.

For a brief, peaceful moment—

the world was quiet.

As the carriage rumbled on, Hazuki lay back with his arms crossed behind his head, enjoying the breeze.

Then—

A small, curious voice called out from inside the carriage.

"Uncle?"

Hazuki cracked one eye open lazily.

"Hmm?"

The little beastkin girl peeked her head out, her ears twitching nervously.

"Who... are you talking to?"

Hazuki blinked, then sat up slightly, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh, me?" he said casually, pointing at the air beside him.

"This guy right here."

The beastkin girl tilted her head, blinking her wide golden eyes.

"...Umm... I don’t see anything..."

Hazuki grinned.

"Ah, that’s normal. He’s a spirit."

The girl gasped softly, her hands covering her mouth.

"You can... talk to spirits?!"

Hazuki puffed out his chest with the pride of a man about to tell the biggest lie in the world.

"Of course!" he said, his voice full of fake wisdom.

"Actually... all the spirits love me."

He nodded sagely, closing his eyes like an old master remembering distant, tragic pasts.

"They can’t live without me. Every spirit in the world adores me."

There was a moment of stunned silence.

Then—

Ridan, still sitting at the back of the carriage like a grumpy cat, exploded.

"OI!!"

He shot upward, his cloud body sparking.

"WHO SAID ALL THE SPIRITS LOVE YOU, DUMBASS?!"

Hazuki kept his cool, waving a hand smugly.

"Shh, shh. Don’t ruin my reputation. I’m building a fanbase here."

"Fanbase my ass!!" Ridan barked.

"The only thing you attract is bad luck and unpaid bar tabs!!"

Hazuki turned back to the wide-eyed little girl and gave her a slow wink.

"See? Even the spirits can’t stay quiet when I’m around."

The girl’s mouth dropped open in awe.

From inside the carriage, her father muttered to her mother,

"Maybe we should ride faster... just in case the crazy spreads."

"Uncle?"

The little beastkin girl spoke up again, her voice shy but filled with innocent curiosity.

Hazuki, still lying casually on the back of the carriage, cracked an eye open lazily.

"Hmm?"

The girl fidgeted with her hands, looking embarrassed.

"My father said..."

She hesitated, glancing nervously back at her parents.

"Everyone calls you... the crazy guy."

"Mimi!"

Her mother gasped, gently pulling her back.

"Ah, sorry! My daughter is just... curious... Please don’t mind her words!"

The father bowed his head quickly, looking apologetic.

Hazuki sat up slowly, scratching his cheek with a sheepish grin.

"Oh~ yes ~ they call me crazy, alright," he said, puffing up proudly like it was some grand title.

He crossed his arms and tilted his chin up dramatically.

"That’s because they’re jealous. Jealous of me—"

He jabbed a thumb at his chest.

"—the legendary Spirit Talker!"

The little girl gasped again, sparkling stars practically shining in her eyes.

"All the spirits in the world love me."

He nodded solemnly, trying not to laugh.

"They follow me everywhere, just like this one floating here."

Ridan, still hovering near his head, twitched violently.

And then barked loud enough that Hazuki flinched:

"DUMBASS!! I DON’T FOLLOW YOU!! I’M STUCK IN YOUR DAMN SWORD!!"

Hazuki waved his hand casually through the air, grinning like an idiot.

"See? So emotional. Can’t even hide how much he loves me."

"I’LL EMOTIONALLY STRANGLE YOU, THAT’S WHAT!!"

Ridan puffed angrily, spinning in place like a furious little storm cloud.

The beastkin family inside the carriage just stared, their mouths slightly open.

The mother leaned close to the father, whispering,

"Maybe... it’s a blessing? Maybe he’s... touched by the God?"

The father muttered back,

"Or touched by insanity. Hard to tell."

Meanwhile, Hazuki leaned back again, hands behind his head, wearing a smug grin a mile wide.

"Uncle?"

The little beastkin girl leaned out again, her ears twitching curiously.

Hazuki tilted his head lazily toward her, his eyes half-lidded.

"Yes?"

She fidgeted, glancing down at his belt where the slime-core sword hung.

"Are you... an adventurer?"

Hazuki blinked, chewing over the question.

"Hmm...?"

He shrugged lazily.

"Yeah, kinda."

The girl’s golden eyes lit up with excitement.

"I saw you have a sword!"

Hazuki patted the weapon at his side proudly.

"Yep. Got it myself. Long story."

"So..."

She leaned in closer, her voice dropping as if asking a forbidden secret.

"How many monsters have you killed?!"

Hazuki scratched the back of his head, thinking for a second.

"...I dunno. Forgot the count."

He waved it off like a veteran too seasoned for numbers.

Right on cue, Ridan—who had been pretending to nap near Hazuki’s boots—burst out laughing, his cloudy body shaking like jelly.

"PUAHAHAHAHA!!"

He spun around midair, holding his sides.

"YEAH RIGHT!! THIS DUMBASS WHO RAN AWAY FROM ORCS—"

Ridan threw in a dramatic little hip wiggle.

"—AHN~ ESCAPING~ RUNNING~ CRYING LIKE A LOST CHICKEN~!!"

Hazuki’s eyebrow twitched.

He snapped his head sideways toward Ridan, whispering harshly out of the corner of his mouth,

"SHUT UP, DAMN IT!!"

The little girl, still unable to see or hear Ridan, just clapped her hands together in awe.

"Wow... Uncle must be really strong if he lost count..."

Hazuki puffed up immediately, sitting straighter.

He gave her a big thumbs-up.

"Heh. That’s right. Super strong."

Meanwhile, Ridan floated behind him, silently mouthing the words "PATHETIC" while making exaggerated crying faces like a dying fish.

( End of Chapter )