ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 149: The Spirit’s Prank ( )

Hazuki leaned back against the carriage wall, arms crossed, trying to act cool despite Ridan’s obnoxious laughter still echoing around him.

"Oi, Ridan."

Hazuki grumbled, narrowing his eyes.

"Enough laughing already. Those orc guys were... you know... in heat!"

He shivered dramatically.

"You’re the one who shouted at me to run or become their dessert!"

Ridan floated lazily above Hazuki’s head, smirking like the most smug cloud in existence.

"Yeah, yeah."

He spun a lazy loop midair.

Hazuki shivered again at the memory.

"I can’t imagine if those orcs got me."

Ridan wiggled his misty eyebrows.

"Like those damn elven heroes, right?"

Hazuki blinked.

"...Heroes?"

He tilted his head, confused.

Ridan immediately froze for half a second—then waved it off with an exaggerated shrug, floating casually away.

"Ah... nothing."

He whistled innocently.

Hazuki narrowed his eyes suspiciously but decided not to press.

He stretched his arms wide, letting out a loud, lazy yawn.

"Alright! I’m going to sleep now!"

He shifted to lie flat across the back of the carriage, hands tucked behind his head again.

"Ridan, stop talking, okay?"

Ridan floated above him, looking extremely offended.

"Ugh! WHO’S TALKING?!"

He puffed up angrily, arms crossed like a sulky balloon.

The little beastkin girl inside the carriage giggled softly, covering her mouth with both hands.

Hazuki smirked lazily but kept his eyes half-closed, feeling the gentle sway of the carriage as it rolled over the road. His eyelids grew heavier with each passing moment.

"Yawn..."

The afternoon sun warmed his face. The quiet clatter of wooden wheels mixed with the soft chirping of birds somewhere beyond the trees.

Slowly....

Hazuki drifted off into sleep, the small sounds of laughter and the steady hum of the journey carrying him into his dreams.

Ridan hovered quietly nearby, arms still crossed, watching him with a mixture of annoyance... and a very faint smile.

"Idiot," he muttered under his breath, settling down into a quiet float.

The carriage rolled onward, toward a future filled with chaos Hazuki hadn’t even begun to imagine yet.

Several hours passed.

The sun had started to dip lower in the sky, painting the fields and trees in a soft orange glow. The carriage rumbled steadily along the dirt path, now passing more travelers, merchants, and scattered stalls by the roadside.

Floating lazily beside Hazuki, Ridan stirred, his cloud body stretching like a yawning cat. His cloudy eyes scanned the road ahead.

"Hmm... so we’re nearly at the town," he muttered, noticing the increasing crowd and noise.

He turned to look at Hazuki, still sprawled out on the carriage bed like a corpse on the beach, snoring loudly without a care in the world.

"Oi, Hazuki. Wake up."

Ridan nudged his side with a cloudy finger.

Hazuki mumbled, face buried against his own arm.

"Oi, idiot!"

Ridan jabbed him harder.

Still no reaction.

Hazuki snored louder, flopping onto his back with a dopey grin.

Ridan hovered above him, a devilish grin slowly forming across his misty face.

"...Tch. Fine then."

He floated a little higher, gathering mana at his mouth.

And then.

Ridan changed his voice. The usual rough spirit tone twisted, softened, and became a perfect mimicry of Ellyn’s sweet voice.

"Uncle~"

A soft, adorable call floated into Hazuki’s ears.

Hazuki’s body twitched immediately. He stirred, eyes fluttering half-open. A drowsy, dreamy smile spread across his face.

"...Ellyna...?"

Ridan, still using Ellyn’s voice, leaned in closer.

"Uncle~ Wake up~ I miss you~"

Hazuki’s heart skipped a beat even in his half-asleep state. His hands clumsily reached upward, like a man chasing a dream he didn’t want to end.

"Ellynaaa..." he mumbled.

The beastkin family inside the carriage peeked out cautiously, confused by the sudden weird atmosphere.

The little beastkin girl whispered,

"Mama... I think Uncle’s dreaming about someone..."

Her mother just smiled awkwardly.

The little beastkin girl, curious and innocent, move closer to the back where Hazuki was still half-asleep, mumbling nonsense into the breeze.

Ridan, grinning like a devil, floated low near Hazuki’s ear.

Still using Ellyn’s sweet voice, he whispered:

"Uncle~ Kissu~"

Hazuki’s eyes snapped open instantly, wide with panic and excitement.

Before his brain could catch up—

Before reason or common sense could stop him—

Hazuki lunged forward.

"Ellynaaa!!"

He hugged the nearest figure.

Which, unfortunately, happened to be,

the tiny beastkin girl.

"UWAAAH?!"

The little girl squeaked, flailing her arms in surprise as Hazuki hugged her like a drowning man clinging to a lifeboat.

Ridan, meanwhile, was already in the air again.

POOF!

He transformed, wearing a full blue police officer uniform with a tiny sheriff badge and an overly large hat.

He floated high and began mimicking a police siren:

"NE NO NE NO! POLICE INCOMING!!!"

Hazuki blinked, realizing what he was holding.

His face paled.

"C-crap!"

Ridan floated in front of him.

"CRIMINAL DETECTED! NE~ NO~! CAPTURE THIS PERVERT!"

He twirled around like a hyperactive cop on parade.

The beastkin parents looked out in pure horror, seeing Hazuki hugging their daughter tightly.

Hazuki immediately let go, scrambling backward across the carriage like a man escaping death.

"I-IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!!"

He waved both arms frantically.

"Ne no ne no~!"

Ridan spun circles around Hazuki’s head, flashing his fake police badge like a smug little storm cloud.

"Criminal! You are under arrest for being a lolicon!"

Hazuki’s face went pale.

"OI, RIDAN!!"

He jumped to his feet, waving his arms wildly as if trying to swat away invisible bees.

But Ridan only sped up, laughing like a maniac.

"Ne no ne no~!"

In his tiny misty hands, Ridan twirled a pair of magical police handcuffs, spinning them like a cowboy with a lasso.

Hazuki backed up against the side of the carriage, eyes wide in pure panic.

"CUT IT OUT, DAMN IT!!"

"Ne no ne no~! Resistance detected! Additional charges: Resisting Arrest and High-Grade Stupidity!"

The beastkin family inside the carriage stared at the bizarre sight of Hazuki flailing and yelling at empty air.

"You can’t arrest me for crimes I didn’t commit!!" Hazuki barked, ducking.

Ridan floated smugly, adjusting his oversized police cap.

"The court of spirits finds you GUILTY! Sentence: Eternal Public Embarrassment!"

Hazuki growled, finally managing to swipe through Ridan’s illusion—and the magical handcuffs poofed into pink smoke, harmless but humiliating.

Panting, Hazuki collapsed back against the side of the carriage, glaring up at the mischievous cloud.

Ridan floated triumphantly, blowing a tiny police whistle one last time for good measure.

"Law and order delivered. Good job, Officer Ridan."

Hazuki muttered under his breath,

"One day... one day I’m gonna shove that stupid hat down your throat."

( End of Chapter )